Livin.Lovin.Laughin with Lillian

Starting a new blog...

2010-07-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

I want a new blog. No real reason.

So if you'd like to follow it please send me a message letting me know who you are and you're email address! :)

Learned a lot about myself recently

2010-07-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

1. I am more of a paranoid mom then I thought I'd be.

L's been sick and I am freaking out she is going to get dehydrated. Pedi said to stop giving her formula so the diarrhea stops (which it has) so I've been pushing pedialyte that she isn't a fan of. I felt like I was hit by a bus by 5pm yesterday simply from worrying all.freakin.day!

2. I totally have an emotional eating issue.

With her being sick I've been stressed. I turn to junk food for comfort... I've never really realized this before!! It's really that I noticed it cause now I am making a conscious effort to distance myself from it all. Considering I lost ZERO pounds last week motivates me even more.

3. I get irritable very fast over nothing.

This I've kind have seen before but totally saw it the last few days. It started with not losing any weight last week, then talking to DH about $$, and having L get sick to finish it off. I went to bed early last night before punching something!! I didn't fall asleep till about 11 :::yawns:::

4. I'm not sure I could be a SAHM.

LOVE, love, love staying home with her. But I've realized I have to have some adult interaction during the week.

That's it! I must go do something productive before nap time ends!

:)

2010-07-11T07:26:00.001-07:00

Lost 1 lb this week. Not horrible but no spectacular either! BUT I am almost to my 5% lost. Total lost so far is 7.2.

So I am determined to walk 4 times this week in this nasty heat. I want to get back into the 150's. I went through some clothes in the closet and was VERY surprised I fit into a few capris and pants. Before I use to stuff my fat arse in them and looked like I was spilling out of them! Gross.

It amazes me how just a few pounds make such a difference. :)

On another note Lillian is getting 2 more teeth. :(

It's so sad having her wake up in the middle of the night moaning and groaning cause they are bothering her. We've been using the hylands tablets which have helped.

She said "dog" this morning. Clear and perfectly. Before it was just "dah".

I think going back to work is going to be tougher then it was when she was 8 weeks old. :/

I am not looking forward to it at all.

I love getting her out of her crib in the morning and from naps. She sometimes pretends to be sleeping still. She'll throw herself down and lay flat out with out moving... it cracks me up!

We start swim lessons tomorrow. Kinda nervous. Not sure what we'll be doing. I am terrified of dunking her head under the water. She isn't a fan of getting water poured over her head in the bath. Hoping she learns something from it. It's only 2 weeks long. We can't afford the other swim programs. SIL is paying $55 a week for 3, 15 minutes sessions. We paid $45 for 8, 30 minute sessions. Anything she gets is better then nothing!

My classroom is coming along. I bought stuff to make curtains to cover some cabinets. I've never really sewn anything so this is going to be an experience. My mom has a machine she's never even used so we busted it out and will be using it. She knows how to sew but we're still figuring out this machine itself! Hopefully they turn out decent!

I have a major head start over everyone at school. All my boxes are unpacked, furniture moved in and set up. That feels great to know. There are tons of people moving rooms this year so come Aug it'll be interesting! Everyone wanted a grade change.

Gotta go get ready for church :)

Confessions

2010-07-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how I haven't run out of things to "look up" online.

I miss being a kid. No bills, no jobs, no worries!

I have tons of irrational fears/thoughts. These are both random (like when Kevin leaves for work with L and I have a quick thought of "what if something happens to them on the way to my moms?") I hate that my mind even flashes those thoughts.
Then there is the "Is L developing correctly?" "What will she turn out to be like?" I watched too much Dateline, 2020, and Intervention. GAH!

I HATE and LOVE how L loves my mother to pieces. She pitches fits when we leave their house. She cries when my mom walks out of the room. She lights up when my mom walks back into the room. I wouldn't want her to do that with anyone but my mom, well unless it was with ME!
I yell at her telling her I delivered her and she better love me! lol

I don't go a day with out thinking about my weight, what I've eaten or if I've exercised enough.

I'm getting to know my MIL more by hanging out with her this summer. We went to breakfast this morning. She really is a cool person!

I can't stand people on facebook who put the same shit as their status every single day. Everyone knows your on vaca, your loving life, your family is the best, you're very grateful for everything. Guess what... NO ONE GIVES A SHIT after the 50th time!

There are a group of coworkers I can't stand at all. They are so fake. They don't hesitate to talk shit about anyone behind their back. They do all they can to brown nose the right people. I'm the do your job and go home kinda person.

I wish I could have a baby for my sister... not sure I could handle that whole process.

I could sleep in till 11 everyday if it wasn't for L waking up! ::yawn::

I'm such a d o r k!

2010-07-05T16:57:00.000-07:00

I'm moving my classroom tomorrow to the kindergarten hall and I am totally excited!

I think having new scenery is going to be great.

I've been in the same hallway/room for 4 years. I was always one of those kids that moved my bedroom furniture around 3 times a year. Mom would come home to crap every where. And I'd have my butt behind my dresser pushing it around the room!

The classroom I am moving to is bigger and much more open. The last 4 years I've been in a concreatable (a room they added on later as the school grew, no windows but 1). My new room has windows all across the front and lets in more natural light.

I am trying to picture in my head where I am going to put everything. I love the beginning of the year because it's a fresh start. :)

-1.8 Not to shabby

2010-07-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been trying really hard to watch what goes in my mouth. Not to say I don't give in here and there. Looks like its paying off. Total weight loss right now 6.2lbs. I'll take it! :)

Pretty Amazed

2010-07-02T05:16:00.000-07:00

This was my pumpkin 10 months ago.... and the picture below is her today! Wow, it amazes me how fast babies grow the first year. Before having L I didn't realize how short of a time period a year was. I use to think, Uh a YEAR... that's forever from now! Oh how I was wrong! Her first year of life is almost over. ::tear::

On another note, I am giving myself credit today for things I don't normally do.

-I went walking 2 times this week! Yay! That's more then I've done in a l o n g time.

-I am a great mom! We've been having so much fun this summer. I love, love, love watching her play on her own. Sitting there talking to her toys, looking at her books in depth and seeing her tiny gears in her head turning. She is my little sponge! Which reminds me we need to seriously get our mouths in shape. No more cuss words. My mouth is horrible sometimes. Especially when someone doesn't know how to drive in front of me!

-I ate pretty well this week. Don't think I lost any but we will find out tomorrow morning. Eeekk!

And another note! I feel like everyone (online buds) are TTC baby #2. I am kinda jealous. I am totally wishy washy when it comes to baby #2. Well just to put it out there, we won't be TTC again any time soon. We aren't saving $$ right now so until that happens we don't feel comfortable bringing another life into the world. I would LOVE to be pregnant again. But then I want to know L's little personality before having to focus on another lil' one. And I am *trying* to get back in shape so being pregnant would blow that out of the water. Have I said all this before?! Feeling like I've already posted this rant! lol

Ahh guess time will tell! :)

To those who comment in Chinese letters

2010-06-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know what you are writing so please do not take it as me being rude when I do not respond and or delete you comments. That's all! Thanks! :)

We need to hit the LOTTO!

2010-06-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

So tired of having to worry about $$.

I know this is probably never going to end. Unless we hit the lotto!
We have two goals at this point for saving $.

We want another child in the near future. We're not TTC right now by any means for more then one reason.
a) I want to enjoy L more and get to know her little personality. I want to be able to focus on her for another year at least.
b) We need more $$ to afford to have another baby
and
c) I am working really hard (kinda hard) on getting my body into shape

And we also want to buy a house in the next 3 maybe 4 years. We currently live in a town house which isn't tiny. I want a backyard and a real drive way... random huh?!
I am tired of this parking lot and lugging all this shit in daily! And when it rains it sucks even more. I want a kitchen with more room. And a pool would be nice too!!

Okay I drifted off into lala land there for a moment.

We're not broke at all. We just have a # that we like to stay above in our account. We already do the Florida prepaid college fund for L so that's getting done. Which in return will save us $ later on. We're not living paycheck to paycheck. We just aren't saving like we'd like to.

We decided that we need to not do all the things we wanted to this summer.
No Dave Matthews tickets :(
No going to Orlando to visit our friends.
No buying all the fun stuff for my classroom I was looking at (this I'm ok with)
No going all out on L's first birthday

I think I'm saddest about the Dave Matthews concert. It's been like a tradition for us.

I guess what it all comes down to is... I am thankful for so many other things that $ isn't really that important. I know for a fact their are families out there that are way worse off then us right now!

Just hoping things all work out in the long run!

First weigh in today in a month

2010-06-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

And I was shocked.

I didn't gain at all. In fact I was down 0.2 so now I am at an exact 165lbs! Whoo hoo!

I don't think the tiny old lady weighing me in realized it had been a month since the last time I was there. She praised me for not gaining and sent me off. I was thrilled. I'll take it at this point.

So today the hubs and I went to the grocery store. I sware the two of us have the BIGGEST junk tooth there is. We both love the same horrible foods. Although he'll eat anything you put in front of him be it junk or healthy food.

As for my little lady who I've neglected to write about in the last few weeks... she is wonderful. I just love her to pieces.

I am in love with the way she burrows her tiny head into my chest when I go in and pick her up from her naps or first thing in the morning.

Right now I am almost positive she is getting both top teeth at the same time. Her gums are super white and she has an excessive amount of drool.

I'm not gonna lie. I am pretty much OVER the whole "dada" bit. I tell her 10 times a day she needs to move onto another consonant... "mmm" might be a start! But I doubt it's going to happen anytime soon.

She is eating like a champ. I have yet to put something in her mouth she doesn't like (not sure if that's a good or bad thing) She hoovers around me while I am eating. She won't let me get away without giving her a taste.

She's taken a few spills since pulling up onto things. It kills me but I know it's just the start!

I'm having a great time being a "pretend" SAHM! That's what I call it since its only a few months. I do think it would be tough to do it full time. I'd want to go out and do all kinds of things that cost $$ that we don't have right now. Inside things like this place called A Latte fun. Its a kids gym with an adult coffee shop inside too. Its fun and has air conditioning which is a MUST in hot a** south florida right now. It's like $8-10 per kid to get in. I think L is free since she is so small still.

We will be doing lots of play dates in the coming weeks. This week we're going to visit our friend Melissa who has a 4 week old and a 4 year old. Would it be rude to bring L with me?? I know kids are carriers but she has a live in carrier... thoughts?

Then we have a old high school friend who has 2 year old twin girls. We might meet up with them.

Gotta keep busy!!

g.u.i.l.t

2010-06-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

I have it for just about everything.

Here is my tiny list:

- Motherhood too much to go into!!

- Being a Wife same as above

-Spending $ on MYSELF! This is a big one.... cause ya know I can spend whatever money I have on Lilly and it's always justified. I on the only hand, need nothing. The word *want* shouldn't even be in my vocabulary. Like the purse I wanted today while at Target. Yes, note the store one more time. TARGET. Not Coach which I was at while in NC. The green purse at Target today for $12.98 (it was on clearance) almost put me into tears!!
I walked by that damn purse 2 times before heading directly to the checkout lane! Like seriously. I know many people who spend $200+ on purses. But I can't... cause I don't... here's that word again... NEED it! I reminded myself several (almost 2o times) that we aren't currently saving so I need to do my part and only buy stuff I need. And then I proceeded to slap myself in the face for not taking $ and spending it on myself when in fact we did have a little to spare. We're not broke but saving is a big deal around here. And I'm all about it!

-Exercise. Hate that word. It just has neon negative lights all around it. I feel terrible when I don't go because I know it's so important for more then one reason. And then I feel horrible for going when I could be spending that hour with Lilly before bed. But now since I am on summer break I am going to go in the morning right when she gets out of bed. Ya know since its like 100 degrees here by 8am!!

- Eating well. I've had a reading workshop all week this week. Which means lots of eating out with friends to chat about what we're learning or lack there of! While at lunch this week I realized a few things. 1) I eat way to freakin fast 2) I eat a.l.o.t 3) I eat pretty much what I know I should be eating! I think #1 & 2 bother me the most. Now I know why my 2 friends stay so thin... they throw half of what they ordered away!

- Family. Love them all to the moon and back BUT they drive me nuts. Then I feel guilty for feeling annoyed! That bit is never ending!!

I guess my point in this is I am so tired of watching everything.

Watching how much money I spend, what I eat, how fast I eat, how much I eat, how I don't exercise, how I need to exercise, the amount of interaction I do with Lilly, planning her birthday party (WHOA!) how many times a week I cook dinner, the laundry being done, the house being cleaned, babysitting for my sister, and on and on and on and on!!!

I feel like I need a mental vacation!!

No good...

2010-06-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

at anything.

I am much harder on myself then I am on anyone else. Is that the norm??!

I suck at sticking to anything.

Good eating habits- fail 99% of the time
Cooking- ok for a week then fail
Motherhood- pretty good most the time but sometimes I get selfish (shocking I know)
Exercise- great for 2 weeks then nada for 2 months+
Wife- pretty great in some areas that I won't mention... but totally suck in other areas (putting laundry away, keeping up with cleaning... what else is there?! lol )

I have no idea why I'm like this.

I don't have a passion for anything really. I would say I LOVE shopping but I have total guilt when I buy myself the littlest things.

I turn to food for comfort. Maybe because people *need* to have food to live. I dunno. Just throwing it out there. When I go shopping I always say to myself, "Do I REALLY need this?" and the answer is mostly no. Then I throw whatever I'm holding onto some random shelf nearby.

Why is it that once women have children they stop taking care of themselves? Cause this is totally my situation right now.

I really want a hobby or even to join Lady of America only to go to their Zumba classes. But it all goes back to $$. I hear the 'we aren't saving' speech every time bill paying time rolls around.

And I am cool with that. Cause I know he is only looking out for OUR best interest. It isn't like he is being an asshole about it.

I need to do something. I should have gone out walking this afternoon. Walking is so b.o.r.i.n.g!! Think I'd rather poke my eyes out!

I need some sort of motivation. I wanted my 10 yr reunion to be that motivation. Yeah well so much for that. It's gone!

Now I have this wild idea of going back to school in August in a much smaller size... August is closer then I realized! Damn it. It's always something.

I had a plan. I was going to wake up every morning and go walking when Lilly woke up. Yeah that has happened like ZERO time so far. I started a reading workshop this week so I couldn't. And before that I was in NC.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FAST!
:::vent over:::

Fell Off the WW wagon

2010-06-21T18:42:00.001-07:00

Gah!

Must.get.back.into.a.routine!!

Being out of school has totally thrown me for a few loops!

And to those who comment in Chinese letters. I have no clue what you're writing!!

Another 2 pounds gone...

2010-05-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Although this "holiday" weekend looks like I might have gained it back. Friends were in town and I kinda lost all control. Back on track tomorrow!

I'm not on a DIET!!!!!!!!

2010-05-26T17:36:00.001-07:00

Holy food police! I can't stand how once you tell someone you are doing WW they automatically think it's their job to ask you, "Can you eat this?" "should you have that?" "Are you allowed...." "How many points is that?"

Or those people who want to know how it is going. Don't ask. It's not fun. Hell yeah I'd rather be eating a cheese steak sandwich with fries rather then this salad!

All the times I've done WW in the past the comments never really bothered me. This time, I am about to blow! Maybe because my head is totally in it. And I've realized it's not something I plan on only doing for a short amount of time. I'm in it for the long haul. And I am not only doing it for myself. It's for my husband and Lillian.

At work I had 2 coworkers who's husband's had heart attacks within a week of each other. Neither were over weight by any means. But their horrible eating habits probably caught up to them. Clogged arteries. And both are in their early 50's. That's too young for that to be going on!

Boy that felt good to vent! Now I'll be able to get through tomorrows comments!

Back at Weight Watchers

2010-05-25T17:17:00.000-07:00

Last week was great. I lost 2.2 lbs. I am kinda scared what this week is going to bring. I haven't been tracking all that well. We went out to dinner Saturday night and I think I had one too many fries.

So now I sit here watching Biggest Loser. Wow these people lost so much effing weight. How dare I complain about my 30-40lbs I am needing to get rid of?! These strangers are real inspirations.

We had turkey burgers for dinner tonight. They were decent. I am running out of recipe ideas. I need more.

I also need to start walking again more often. Oh the to-do list... love them! :)

Whoa it's been a LONG time!

2010-05-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

Where has time gone?!

I can't stand how life is just flying by so freakin fast! Lilly will be 9 months this week. Eeeekkk!

My little princess is almost 1 year old! She has 9 more days to spend with G-ma before I am home for summer break. I can't wait to get to spend the time with her. It'll also give me some time to do her scrap book and plan her birthday party.

We're going on our first plane ride minus dada... he can't get off from work :(
Going up to see Auntie in North Carolina with my parents. So at least I won't be traveling alone.

She has changed a lot since the last time I was on here. She's crawling and just started to pull up onto things. She has 2 bottom teeth. I think her top teeth will be here soon too. She is drooling a ton. She has a total fit if someone does something to her that she doesn't like (kisses, taking things away, pulling her away from the computer wire)!

She got her first booboo this afternoon... it breaks my heart. We were sitting outside on a blanket with the dogs. Well our one dog saw something and took off running, the leash was touching Lilly's arm and kinda gave her rope burn. She cried a little bit but nothing like she should have by the looks of it. It looks terrible. :::tear::: I cried. I just hope it doesn't leave a scar. I called the pedi and he said to put neosporin on it with a long sleeve shirt.

As for myself... I went back to WW last Saturday. The first week went well. I lost 2.2lbs. Better then I expected. I need to start walking more. I plan on going first thing in the morning once I am off this summer. I've found this great blog called skinnytaste.com that I love! The recipes are so yummy! It feels good to finally be doing something for myself. :)

I've been having some terrible mommy guilt. It is over the silliest things sometimes. I am getting through it though. This whole leash/rope burn deal isn't making it easy!

Decision... MADE!

2010-03-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

Love HER!!!!!! And lovin being home on spring break!!

So after lots of tears and talking we decided that it would be in the best interest for our family that K take the position at the sheriffs office.

I am excited for him and nervous for myself! He needs to get out of where he is at now. And this job offers great opportunities. Benefits, pension, VACATION time (he hasn't had one in years)!

I am nervous for myself because of the unknown. We have no idea what shift he'll end up with. It could be the midnight to 8am which would totally suck! That would mean I'd have to sleep alone- I don't deal well with that! That would mean I would now have to start dropping Lillian off in the mornings at my moms. Which is alright but I'd be getting up super early, having to get ready alone with her at the same time... not sounding great to me! Yikes! Manageable of course but a PITA too! I just see that shift = more on my back!

Another ugh part is holidays. Depending on what shift he ends up with depends on if he'll get any holidays off at all. Boo to not knowing yet! I am so impatient!

As for my decision on moving schools. It's not possible. For the simple fact of (again) the unknown. I couldn't possibly wake up, get myself and a baby put together, fed and out the door, drive north 20 minutes to turn around and drive south 40 minutes ALL before 7:30 am!! I'd be waking up at freaking 4am. Which is not doable at all for me! So thats on hold. Which is perfectly fine. I wasn't thrilled with the whole idea to begin with.

So we'll see what happens! I'll be praying every night that K ends up with a day shift!!!!!!!!!! lol

Oh Life...

2010-03-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

Why are you throwing so many decisions at us right now?!

Both Kevin and I are going to (sooner or later) have to make a choice on our jobs. My situation is this...

I have a really great opportunity to move to a much nicer school then where I am at now. Where I am at now is a mess. Admin is nice. I get along great with both the Principal and AP. Love everyone I work with for the most part. The kids/parents are rough. The kids have very unstable living environments. They get pulled in and out of schools all year long. And they are very low in every aspect of life. Some friends at school say "I wouldn't want to deal with parents at an affluent school." others say "Do you really want to go down with this sinking ship?!" I think my one friend is scared to move hence why she has nothing positive to say about me looking into moving.

This all came up from going out a few weekends ago while my sisters were in town. A friend of ours works at this new school. She is the intervention specialist there and works closely with that principal. She couldn't believe I was still teaching where I am at and mentioned that there would be openings at her school. Which totally got me thinking. Now she is working on getting me in. Its a bit far considering where I am at now is a whole 10 min from my house. Its about 30 min away.

One friend of mine who use to work with me but transferred said "Take the transfer and don't look back!" So I am kinda reminding myself of that when I get scared about moving. The next step is to let my principal in on it all. I hope she isn't upset about me considering a move. Not sure yet when/how to tell her.

Now DH might be changing careers all together. He currently is in construction. And is looking into becoming a corrections officer. He took his polygraph test and passed this morning. Is it wrong that I was hoping he'd fail for my own personal reasons? This job change would mean he would start working nights, weekends and holidays. We've had it good where he is at now. He was scared for a bit that where he is at now might not last due to the economy. Hence why he was looking for something else.

I am trying REALLY hard to be supportive. But honestly can't imagine him not around at night or on weekends. I can deal with the holidays. I have a hard enough time sleeping alone when he goes out with the guys at night. Ahhhh, I hope this change is for the better and I don't end up miserable.

Not sure why but I feel like this is going to add a ton onto my plate. I have no idea how its going to work with dropping off and picking up Lillian. Right now it works out great. He drops her off in the morning and I pick her up in the afternoons... how does that work when he works nights? When would we freaking see each other?!

I have to calm down. He wants this so badly. I need to try to find the positive in it! :::looks around:::

Dear March... where did you go?!

2010-03-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

Seriously... can't believe March is almost over! Super tired so I just wanted to post some pictures. Big girl is sitting all alone!!

Her first time at the beach... it was kinda chilly hence the pants and hoodie! Aunt Shell put her toes in the sand. She loved it!

Her baptism dress that my MIL made out of my wedding dress. The baptism went great. Except her sock fell in the holy water!

I've been a BAD blogger!

2010-03-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

::slaps hand::

Life is busy, busy these days! Trying to plan Lillian's baptism which is this weekend. My sisters are in town. So much going on. I will try to be a better blogger once things calm down!

Mom, I love you but...

2010-03-04T17:57:00.000-08:00

you are driving me nuts!

For those who still read this and don't already know my mom watches Lillian while I am at work. I LOVE it. I've never worried about her being taken care of. Its such a peaceful feeling to know that she isn't sitting in a crib crying, in a dirty diaper, or starving!
But I'm human. And I get short fused once in awhile! It just seems like every single day my mom has an issue. It's either one of the following or many....

1. Lillian won't sleep. She is fighting her nap. She keeps crying and won't fall to sleep.
2. She didn't want to eat her bottle. I dunno what's going on?!
3. She didn't want her cereal and fruit. Not sure what's the matter?!
4. It was a "hold me" day today. I couldn't put her down.
5. As soon as I walk away she fusses... I think she wants me to entertain her.

Does anyone see what I am seeing?! lol

My mom is creating a spoiled monster!!!!! She won't let Lillian cry for more then 5 minutes. She is 6 months old and playing the system big time! My dad calls my mom out all the time when I go to pick her up. It's the funniest shit ever. My dad says "It wasn't a hold me day... it was a Rara (thats what we call my mom instead of Gma) won't let me cry day!"
I really really really appreciate having my mom. I wouldn't change it for the world. I just wish she would get Lillian on some what of a daytime routine. It's just hard to hear it. I don't scream or let her see my frustrations. I just vent them on here! haha

We have no issues on the weekends. Hopefully they can figure each other out sooner or later! :)

6 Months OLD!

2010-03-02T17:58:00.001-08:00

Lilly's first pigtails!! I am obsessed with doing things to her hair now! Gonna try a side ponytail next! lol

I cannnn not believe she is effing 6 months old! Where has time gone?! I love her to pieces. Lilly is the best little baby! We went to a golf tournament on Sat. Tons of people, loud music and everything... and what does she do? Falls sound asleep! She laughs at just about anything I do. She is very personable and hasn't had that clingy mom fit yet. Hope she doesn't have that too. I want her to be able to play and let other people hold her and not get upset.

Today I brought her to school for the first time. She went right to everyone and was smiling the entire time!

SLEEP. Oh dear Mr.Sleepy time! My little love bundle still wakes up various times at night. Last night I woke her up at 10pm to eat. She ate 7oz. Then woke up A.G.A.I.N at 4:30am.... and ate 7oz. She was kinda on a funky schedule yesterday.

We upped her solids to 2 times a day. HOping it makes a difference. It's hard to keep up with it all especially when were out and not home.

As for myself... still working on the whole loosing weight part. I went strong walking almost everyday for 2 weeks. Last week.... not so much! I had doctors appointments just about every afternoon. Wed- my doc for back pain still after delivering Lilly. He thinks its muscle spasms. Went for an x-ray and he gave me some pain killers and anti-inflammatory. Not filling the pain killers. Hate how loopy they make me feel! Thurs- Lillys 6 month check up. She weighs 17lbs 2 oz. And is right on track with everything! Fri- dermatologist app. DH thought I had some suspicious spots on my back. But nope everything is fine!
As for school. Oh boy. Lots of drama in the upper grades. A student in 4-5 told the media teacher he was going to cut her throat. Then a 5th grade teacher lost it and started crying in front of her kids because they were being so disrespectful. A 4th grade teacher was being accused of hitting a female student out at the bus loop in front of everyone... um hello if your gonna lie then at least say it wasn't done in front of the entire staff! What a mess. We've had CTA meetings about discipline issues. Parents threatening teachers saying "Don't you know we all have weapons on us? In our cars, purses and pockets?!" Whoa. Its not good! Curious how things pan out. Certain teachers are determined to get administration out of there. They are nice people but aren't hard enough on discipline. Parents are running the show!

Ahhh another day in the neighborhood! lol :)

I'm a bitch.

2010-02-20T07:41:00.000-08:00

Especially when I am PMSing. And everything and anything annoys the crap out of me! Here are some things that got to me in the last few weeks.

1. If a child isn't yours (or even remotely related to you for that matter) then don't question if they should have shoes on when going outside to play.

2. You're a mom now... suck it up and stay home at least one weekend without getting a babysitter. Your child stayed at Gma's both Friday & Sat night last weekend... do you REALLY need to have another freaking babysitter?!

3. You're a teacher. I'm sorry you were the unlucky person to get the new kid who is very low. Don't tell me "I don't have time to go back and teach K to this kid!" Do your job and stop complaining. He is in your room. Don't try to get him moved to the ESE room because your lazy. Get your alphabet book out and start going over letter sounds for cryin out loud!

4. Stop looking at houses in FL and Suburbans when your teenage child is out of control. Save up the money and send her butt to private school before she is knocked up and into some crap you shouldn't have to deal with. TAKE OFF THE BLINDERS.... I repeat TAKE OFF THE BLINDERS!

5. Your 8 month old doesn't like a (dirty) bag of rice. You gave it to her. She is 8 months old and will play with what YOU give her! Don't tell me one more time "I don't know why, but she likes to play with odd things!" Um... maybe because that's what you're giving her. How bout that?!

6. Love it when you say "Watch this... its so funny when she does this, watch"
"Blahsaofhosfhbgkihf, come on do it, norihgoarghoargalshdfdf, come on...."
"Man I don't know why she won't do it now?"
Maybe cause she 8 months old & likes making an ass outta you. You just made a complete fool of yourself. BAH!

7.Don't put as your FB status "is back from an amazing time on our honeymoon. We had the best time ever! Pics to come soon! =) And to all of you wondering and hoping...(and we know there's alot of you)...YES, we did work on making a *** baby! LOL."
Really. You're so mature. I want to slap the shit out of you!

Ahhhh, can you feel the LOVE?! lol Ok I am done being a bitch!

Friday's Favorites

2010-02-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

Ahhh I love Friday's. I honestly live for every Friday!

My favorite this week is...

Having Monday off to spend ALL day with Lillian! We met some friends for lunch at the mall. Lillian blessed my friend Lindsey with a little spit up! Ew! It was actually more then I've ever seen her spit up before. Lins is one of those friends who has huge boobs and lets them hang out... well the spit up went right down her cleavage! My other friends thought it was hysterical. I was totally embarrassed! Oops!

After lunch we walked around Walmart for about an hour. I looked at a ton of things I don't need and didn't buy! Only for the fact that Kevin and I made a deal to only buy things we *need*. Hate that damn deal!

After Wally world we went home for nap time. I just loved being with her all day. Thank God for Presidents! ;)

Going private....

2010-02-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

So if you want to still follow then please send me your email! Thanks!

Friday's Favorites

2010-02-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

Lillian is 5 months old... can't believe it!
Taking Monkey's lead and starting this Friday's Favorites... I have a few this week!

1) I went walking 3 times a week this week. That's a record!! And Lilly enjoyed being out in the fresh air too.

2) I had a student read a level F independently!! I was scared he wouldn't make progress to go to 2nd grade. We've been working REALLY hard!

3) I loved making my pumpkin LOL tonight by making funny faces at her! She giggles so easily and it my new goal!

On another note. My mom caught me totally off guard this afternoon when I went to pick up Lilly. Little background info... my parents bought property in GA a year or so ago. They have lived in the same house since I was 5 and the market still sucks here right now.

They want to build a house on the GA property but aren't willing to sell their house for next to nothing. So... she asked me if K would consider moving into their house here, pay the taxes (its paid off), keep up with the yard (its on almost 3 acres) and rent out our townhouse we're in right now.

She said she wanted to offer it to us first since they have already helped out my other sister who lives here. (They bought a house years ago when the market was great, fixed it up and sold it to her for what they originally bought it for. Sis saved a ton of $)

Nothing is set. It's just an idea they threw out there. K says if we can do that and save $$ then he would be all for it. So I'd be moving back into the house I grew up in since I was 5. Whoa! Love that damn house. It wouldn't actually happen for at least a year maybe two. And we would only be in it a few years till the market gets better and they could sell it. I think deep down they are sad to let go of the house. We all were raised in that house!

We will know more by summer time. They go up to GA the end of March to get more info on building a house. So that's kinda exciting!

Fatty, fatty, 2 by 4...

2010-02-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

can't fit through the kitchen door. Maybe I'd be better off if I couldn't fit in the kitchen door!
Still having a hard time fitting in anything. Fitting in exercise into my daily schedule, fitting into any clothes, fitting into what I want to be... a size 8. Thats all. I don't want to be stick skinny. Just a simple 8. Right now I am squeezing into my 12's which is gross. I went shopping and got a few tops but REFUSE to buy 14s for the lower half. Yuck. Ok enough bitching!

On to my little princess!!! I literally could eat her up! She is getting such a little attitude and shhhh I think its hilarious! I know I will not be saying this come next year when she is being a brat! But right now its funny as heck. I try to pry her tiny little mouth open to see if any teeth are breaking through. She gets all stiff and her face turns red and she makes this mean grunting noise like saying "get the hell off me!"
She is so cute and entertaining. In the car she talks so much. Sometimes you know its too much because her throat gets all dry and she ends up coughing. She only fusses when she is either hungry or sleepy.
Speaking of sleep. She is doing fabulous! We've been waking her up before we go to bed to give her a few ounces. Depending on how late her last feeding was. Last night she ate at 8pm and didn't wake till 6am!! Whooo Hooo! FINALLY! I probably just jinxed myself! lol

Life is still hectic as hell but I am loving every stinking moment with Lillian! I know its going to fly by and she'll be 16 before I can blink.

I want to be a SAHM!

2010-01-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

So today being MLK day I had off... we had such a good time today. First we met a friend at the mall for lunch. We did a little window shopping too (can't afford one store in that mall) and browsed the racks of $200 dresses. I was in need of a dress for an up coming wedding. Then we met my friends mom at Kirkland where we tried not to knock anything over!
After that we ventured over to TJ Maxx which dear lord you woulda thought they were giving stuff away. So freaking busy. It was like an obstacle course getting through those aisles.
We hit up Publix and to get some stuff for the dinner I am going to wing cooking tonight. My MIL makes the best stuffed shrimp and so I am going to try it. Although I couldn't get through to her because when she watches Alexa she turns the phone off while baby naps. Seriously, shove the effing thing under a pillow! Annoying.
So now I sit here trying to get her to take a nap... she is fussing in her crib. She hasn't napped at all this afternoon so she is due.
I would love.love.love to be able to stay home with her. I know its never going to be an option but I am sooo lucky to know I at least have summers off and breaks here and there. Couldn't imagine working straight through the year like most do. Knowing I'll have that time soon makes me happy! :)

Prayers needed...

2010-01-17T18:40:00.000-08:00

My best friend's SIL (got all that) had her little baby at 25 weeks on Thursday. He was 1lb 9oz. At this point they say he is stable. He had 2 blood transfusions and is hanging in there. Such a little trooper already. They are lucky enough to have a Ronald McDonald house to stay in. When she went into labor they transported her 2 hours away from home to a hospital with a special NICU in it. She only has on what she wore to the doctor that day.
Baby's name is Christopher. Thanks so much!

WHY did I just eat that?

2010-01-14T13:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, chex mix. I didn't need you. This whole weight loss thing isn't going so well. I have no hand to mouth control at all. I was talking to my lovely friend E last night and told her something I've NEVER told anyone so far.
I miss being pregnant.
When I was pregnant I didn't have to worry about my fat ass.

I need to get my mind in gear. This isn't working what I got going on! :/

Burnt out teacher here!

2010-01-12T18:49:00.000-08:00

I love my job I really, really do! But I am having a hard time since being out at the beginning of the year. They seriously look at me like my heads cut off when I call them out for talking during writing.
We went over this 20 million times. When the music is on you are silent. Silent means no talking. Lets practice it now.... good. Do just that during writing. Should you be playing with your plastic wrapper from snack during writing? No, Mrs.A. Well what should you be doing? Writing. Ok what are you going to do to fix it? Write.
NOT EVEN 2 MINUTES LATER HE IS PLAYING AGAIN! Seriously. And I technically should be "conferencing" with others at this time!
My head is still attached to my shoulders. STOP looking at me like that when I again call you out for NOT WRITING. Pick a small moment, you're NOT done. WHen you're done you've only just begun....
ADD to your pictures
ADD to your words
ADD, ADD, ADD. Or start a new piece. And if I hear you went to the pool one more time I might just cut off my own head.
Reading... who teaches reading in 1st grade. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Teaching reading to 16 different kids on 10 different levels. Who has a dull butter knife???
I'm sorry Mrs.Smith. Your son does nothing in class. He doesn't look at the pictures while reading. He does not chunk the word and see if he knows AT least part of the word. He doesn't ask himself 1) does that word make sense 2) does that word sound right 3) does that word look right. Nope he keeps on keepin on reading that book all effed up!
"The cat ran no them c-c-c /c- ow-sh." So yes, yes he might stay back in 1st grade again if he doesn't get his shit together and stop playing and start reading during independent reading time. So NOT sorry! I don't care if you are embarrassed your son doesn't TRY!
V.E.N.T over! 5:30 am will be here soon and I'll have to do this shit called 1st grade all over again. Ahhh the feelings of working in title one! LOVE it!

4 Months... WOW!

2010-01-09T18:21:00.000-08:00

I can't believe my baby is 4 months old already. I never thought that it would be so hard on me to see her get bigger. But I'm a big ole' mush pot over it. Just moving her out of her 3 months clothes is killing me! I was squeezing her chubby little butt in them till this week! :(
Lillian has changed so much. Rolling all over the place. I put her in her swing and literally turned my back to pick something off the floor and swoop there she went...facing backwards in the swing and flopping around like a fish.

DROOL! We have lots of it. Not sure if she is teething or what. She has her hands in her mouth a ton and her cheeks get bright red sometimes. I've felt around in there and don't feel anything. She is still NOT sttn. GAH! She is a total tease. One night this week she didn't get up at all. Then the next night she was up fussing 7-8 times. Usually we put the paci in her mouth and that satisfies her.

Its been SO crazy cold down here. 30's in FL huh? But yes it has been. Usually it'll get cold and then warm up during the day. It's stayed in the 50's a few days this week for the high. So we've had to bundle her up to go to grandma's in the morning.

I've had a few meltdowns recently. I've realized that being a mom (even though my DH is so very helpful) is no joke freaking hard. Hard as in I can't fit in everything. I am sick with myself personally. F.A.T- I went up 15 lbs after having Lillian. I lost the weight so quickly and should have paid more attention to KEEPing it off. But I didn't so now I am up 10lbs from what I was before getting PG. How does that happen? Uh, maybe from getting home late and not exercising. Maybe from eating like crap the last 3 months. Yes, that will do it.

Then I have work. Wow work sucks when you can't leave it at work. I have so much stuff I could/should be doing but I can't. And I refuse to do it when I could be spending time with Lillian. So I have reverted back to the old way of doing lesson plans. Handwriting them in. Administration isn't a big fan of people doing it that way but it isn't in our contract that they have to be typed out. Its just easier for me to be able to jot it down here and there. Rather then sitting behind a computer for hours.

Then there is the house... its dirty. And to be honest its the least of my worries!! Sooner or later I'll get it ALL together!!

BaahumBUG!

2009-12-20T05:53:00.000-08:00

Someone was pooped out while at the mall to see Santa. She did great but I think she is still too tiny to realize what's going on. Below is a picture I took with my camera while she was with Santa.

I am having a terrible time getting into the Christmas spirit. Maybe it's the missing tree in our house. We live in a town house which isn't super small but with all the added baby stuff there isn't any room for a tree.

It could also be that DH's job is still on the rocks. Looking worse then ever. My BIL that also works at the same company was laid off. He worked in the field though doing the actual labor. DH works in the office end of the company. He is so stressed and uneasy. He knows any day he could be let go. We aren't buying presents for hardly anyone since we want to save $. We've made deals with family members (our sisters) to not buy for the little ones who are too young to realize. I'm sending $ to my nieces and nephews up north and bought a few toys for my nephew who lives by us. The part I am happy about is that everyone is healthy and we can all be together! Which is what means most at this time of year!

On a brighter note! Lillian is growing like a weed! She is rolling over like crazy. She has been sleeping on her belly which I was so scared of the first few nights. But now I am ok! We still have the paci problem. I've been getting up 6+ times a night to put the damn thing back in her mouth. I honestly don't know what to do other then let her cry it out. I'm going to try to let her fuss/cry a little longer the next few nights and see how that works.

I am a little annoyed with the doctors at the office I go to. I just wish they were all on the same page. I took her in on Monday because she was stuffed up (I was sick all weekend) and I told him how last time I was there another doctor told me to add rice cereal to her bottles for her poopy. He said he'd rather me give it to her on a spoon. We tried it out yesterday. She did alright. Had a few spoon fulls. And then started to cry cause she was hungry and it wasn't getting her full. She pounds 6 oz right now like its going out of style. She goes 4 sometimes 3 hours in between bottles. At night she goes from 6pm till 7am with out eating so thats a plus! She only wakes for the paci like I said before. She is a chunky monkey.... 14lbs 6oz! Love it! She will be 4 months on the 28th. Time is flying!!

Being a sick mommy sucks!

2009-12-12T12:12:00.000-08:00

I feel like crap. I felt it coming on yesterday. Itchy throat, runny nose. UGH. F.M.L right now. Poor DH has been on over time. He took care of Lillian all night so I could get a full nights sleep. I hate not being able to hold her. I really don't want her to catch it.

Speaking of my little princess. She has been a total PITA the last 3-4 days. Fussy as hell. Not sleeping well at night at all. I think she is teething. The amount of drool coming from her tiny mouth is crazy. She shoves her tiny little hands in her mouth any chance she gets. She is trying to flip over to her belly so hard but he shoulder always gets in the way!

Besides that life is good. I gotta run... I'll add some pictures later.

I just googled POOP!

2009-12-09T18:14:00.000-08:00

No you didn't read that wrong. I just looked up on google baby poop pictures. I don't know if Lillian looks like it should. It's green and very very soft. We have been adding the rice cereal. It has helped. It went from watery to soft.
Is soft normal? I guess I should have paid more attention when changing all those diapers with my nieces and nephews!
So my dilemma is.... we are considering changing her formula because of it all. That and I feel like the Gentlease goes right through her. I am so effing SCARED to change formula. It's like playing with fire. I really hope she takes it well and isn't a fussy mess. We have some regular Enfamil so keep your fingers crossed. I figure if she hates it we'll know soon enough and just keep her with what she's on now. AHhhhh!
The sttn was short lived. Although I shouldn't complain. She gets up once a night now instead of 2. She's getting there!
Oh just an update on sister issue. We ended up not talking all weekend. Ended up at my parents house Sunday night and hashed it out on the back porch. She said I told her "You should take care of it." Insinuating abortion. I went off on her because I never even said that. I told her she should have been a little bit more responsible knowing what they had in front of them already. That doesn't mean abortion. I don't feel bad. The whole family was like OMG when she found out she was PG. She wasn't able to afford what she had, to me that isn't fair to the new baby. Whatever. It is what it is. I guess they are going to more counseling. Hopefully for her/kids sake it helps!

Drama, drama and more drama

2009-12-04T19:34:00.000-08:00

Drama aka family!
So my sister just had her little girl. She is something like 2 months apart from Lillian. My sister doesn't make the best choices in life. She is married, to a uh... (trying to be nice here) guy who is not so nice. He is very negative, never lifts a finger to help out much. Anyways, long story short (ended up long haha) they have a 2 year old son and the new baby girl. They are having a hard time with money and their marriage. When their son was born my mom stopped working to take care of him. My mom always said when I had a baby she would do the same for us as she has done for them (as far as taking care of the baby). Well their 2 year old son was ready for preschool. He needs interaction with other children. And I just so happen to get pregnant. So it was going to be great. Mom could now do for us what she's been doing for them. That was this time last year when we found out I was pregnant.

STOP! Then we find out a few months later that now my sister is pregnant again. The whole family was like holy shit what is she going to do. They can't afford another child, their marriage is on the rocks. What was she thinking?! I said a few times man you should have been a little bit more responsible knowing whats going on in your life. Like wear a condom or use BC. Just because I was scared for her and what she was going to go through. She told me she'd be fine. Mom swore up and down that she was going to have to find child care for the new baby. Fast forward to last week. Sister says to me that mom offered to watch her little one too. REALLY cause mom has yet to give me the respect to say anything to me. My feelings were hurt. I pay my mom a small amount each week to watch Lillian. I KNOW my sister can't afford to pay her. So I'm pissed.

So last night my dad questions me about when I am going on spring break so him and mom can go out of town. Sister hears this and is like oh shit what am I going to do with my LO when that happens. So she starts questioning me about watching her LO on my spring break. I tell her I don't want to commit to anything. And I said something about how I was upset mom told her she'd watch her LO without letting me know first. She did NOT like that boy. Said she was going to shove my teeth down my throat (ok we're 27 and 30 years (shes older then me) old here, grow up). ANd then. then. I couldn't believe it says "Whatever, you wanted me to have an effing abortion anyways!" I was livid. NEVER ever ever would I say that to her or anyone. That is such a personal choice or decision. Why would I say that. I was effing pregnant at the time. Its just sick.

So she ended up storming out of the house and now won't talk to me. My other sister is in town for the weekend and this sister is saying she won't be in the same room as me. She is making up all kinds of shit trying to make me look like this mean bitch. I don't get it.

She is miserable with her marriage, has no $ and I think I am getting the brunt of it. Its just a mess. I am livid with the whole abortion comments and her telling my mom and other sisters that I said that. Never. I'm not being a softy on this one. I always usually call to make things better. No way!

On another note, if my husband tells me to eat less, move more he might get throat punched! Trying dang it. I walked 3 times this week. Alright this post is entirely tooo long! Good night!

Gross

2009-12-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

That's how I feel about myself right now. Eww.Yuck.Disgusting.
I have to be more determined. I really really don't want to cough up the $ for Weight Watchers but I think its come down to that. I am one of those people who have to go stand on the scale once a week. Online is too easy to cheat!

I lost all the baby weight plus some right after delivery. But the eating like shit and not exercising has caught up to me. And I feel it BIG time. I never got stretch marks during pregnancy. Yeah, I was blessed with them afterwards on my inner thighs. Only a few but still, WTF?

I fit into like 3 pairs of pants, and the back fat. Oh the back fat kills me! I can't wear hardly any of the shirts I own because of it. Its like a hotdog bun tucked under my shirt right below my bra line. CUTE I tell ya! I feel sick just writing this!

Alright I am going to cry in a corner now!

3 Months today!

2009-11-28T06:51:00.000-08:00

She sttn last night! Whooo hooo! I hope it's not a fluke. We were out pretty much all day yesterday so she took lots of cat naps. Not sure if it was that or if she is starting a trend.

And I pierced her ears. She was such a champ! She cries way worse for her shots. I think they look cute!

This is us goofing around! It was actually cold in Florida for a day! lol

Almost 3 months!

2009-11-22T05:52:00.001-08:00

I can't believe on the 28th Lilly will be 3 months old! Time is flying! And she is changing so much. She loves a blanket up against her face to sleep (like in the picture above). She scoots over to the bumper on her crib to have it up against her face at night. She doesn't push her face up to it just has her cheeks up against it. We have started to deswaddle her. And so far she could careless. The first night we left one arm out and last night she had both arms out and we wrapped her bottom half. By the morning she had her legs out so tonight we're going to try some footed PJ's and thats it! Eeek! Hope I'm not up all night!

She is still not STTN. She goes one long stretch in the beginning and then every 4 hours after that. So its not bad at all. She has become a PITA with the paci in the middle of the night. Before it was only when she was first going down, and now its after her bottles (sometimes). I have to stop going in and replacing it. She needs to learn to go back to sleep with out it. Thats my goal during Thanksgiving break since deswaddling is going so well.

Here was her first Jumperoo experience. MIL has one at her house. She is still too small for it but she loved the lights and animals! Speaking of... I am returning the play mat we bought and have been using with her. She hates it. Last night at SIL's house she sat under their Rainforest mat for like 45 minutes taking to it. Ours within 5 minutes she is done!

That and the exerciser I have I am returning. I am possibly going to get this jumperoo since she LOVES lights!

Someone was a BAD GIRL! Chewed up one of Lillian's pacifiers and then laid by it to say "screw you!"

Well I am going to be better at taking more pictures! These are all I have so far for the month of Nov... yes I've been a slacker!

I am a broken record!

2009-11-16T18:22:00.001-08:00

Never ever ever again will I suggest or give my opinion to another mom. N-E-V-E-R. I feel like I have to explain myself for EVERYTHING I effing do. Just sit there and be who you are. Grandma, grandpa, auntie, uncle. Whatever you are just be there and shut the hell up!

Just because you might put long sleeved/pant PJs on your baby does not mean every child must sleep that way. Just because you put your child to sleep with a blanket covering their face does not mean every child goes to sleep that way. Just because YOU are cold doesn't mean every child is cold. Just because one child does not like to be swaddled does not mean its bad or wrong for another to sleep that way. Just because one child flips over, crawls at 5 months, says words and does the hokie pokie does NOT MEAN EVERY BABY WILL! For Pete sake!!

I don't know how many times I have to explain myself and why I do the things I do with my child. But I do know I am pretty damn over it. Leave your opinions at the effing door. *** I think I might make that a sign*** Seriously. Love them all to death but I am tired. I know they mean well but I am tired. I know they were parents at one point too but I am tired. And I might just become a bitch. I'm done. And I don't know how to be nice about it.... any tips? :/

OK give it back!

2009-11-11T16:16:00.001-08:00

My brain that is! WTF?!

I was in tears an hour ago because I can't find my keys. Had them before we went on a walk last night. Now they are MIA!
Went to Wendy's today, drove off before getting my change!
Left my memory stick plugged into the computer at work that has my lesson plans on it.
I need to s-l-o-w it down a bit.
Off to feed my princess her bottle! :)

YUCK!

2009-11-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

I am lost in my hectic but wonderful life! I am so so behind on school crap, I am gaining weight back, I have yet to start walking again, I'm eating like shit, I am not loving my job, my students suck, I am annoyed with coworkers. That about sums it up!
I really need to get my act together with eating right and walking. I went to Publix tonight and got "healthy snacks" for work. I find myself wanting nothing but crap 24/7. I think its the stress causing that because while I was pregnant I wasn't even that bad! It gets dark so early now so by the time I get home with Lillian its pretty much dark and I am a big old chicken and won't go alone in the dark! :)
My job sucks. I have a classroom full of annoying ass boys. Boys who want to play all day long instead of learn. I got another one today. On a positive note my one wacko who's on meds is (we're pretty sure) out of district. He lied about his address to go to our school. So since him and his brother are such shit heads everyone is working over time to get them out! Sad but true! He is so effing smart. The kids writing is above average but he is such a punk. It's sad to me because every year I usually LOVE my students. This year, not so much. I like 2 boys and maybe one of my girls. The rest are annoying. They are so mean to each other, they tattle all day long, they walk around the room like they can do whatever they want, its annoying! This year is just sad. I can't stand going to stupid meeting after stupid meeting. Making RW & WW calendars after we did it all last year, oh but wait we have to meet the students needs. HELLO, they are all LOW so whatever we do they will benefit from! It's never ending bullshit. Everyone there has an attitude, their all on edge ready to blow at any second. One teacher ate shit in the cafe breaking a finger only to have 2 days later almost knock herself out on a file cabinet drawer... she gets 10 days off from workers comp! Nice... maybe I should run into a pole and knock myself out! I am such a loser this year. Don't have 99% of the stuff done that I should. Funny part is, I don't care! Lillian comes first now. I do what I can there and leave.
Speaking of Lillian... she is freaking adorable. I am bias yes I know! This morning I woke up and checked on her via the video monitor and there she was with this ear to ear smile staring at the camera! It was hilarious! She wasn't crying but just smiling and cooing. LOVE it! She is pretty much on a night time schedule now. She eats and goes down between 7:30- 8:00 and sleeps till 1 0r 2. Then she gets up again around 5-6 again. I have no idea if she is on a day time schedule since she is with my mom. My mom says she does great during the day at her house. So nice having her there!
My sister had her little one. Emily Grace was 8lbs 2oz and 3 weeks early. She had PreE so the doctor was worried. So far she is doing good. She spits up a lot more then Lillian did. They might have to start adding cereal to her BM or formula. But Lillian has a cousin that's 2 months younger then her now. They are going to have so much fun together!!
Alright I am off to do report cards. YUCK! :(

So much to read yet so little time!

2009-11-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

I have so much catching up to do its not even funny. I have NO idea what is going on in my E friends lives. So sad! :(

Lillian is doing awesome! Here is her 2 month picture. Hopefully I get an hour this weekend to do some reading.

2 Months Old & Holy Schmoly!

2009-10-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Lilly is 2 months old today! She has changed so much! She smiles and laughs. And gets really upset with a puckered lip and all! I love seeing her smile in the mornings. She is so happy in the morning... and it kinda makes up for waking us up in the middle of the night still! I still CAN NOT WAIT for her to STTN. I know it'll happen when she's ready. I will add a picture once I take it. Till then a pumpkin patch picture will do!

And holy schmoly to my last post! Can we say PMS! AF is right around the corner and I'm feeling it! Totally moody and having a headache right now.

Time?! What's that?

2009-10-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

Because I don't have any.
Moving on to what is pissing me off at this current moment. Right now, I dislike my husband. Seriously can't wait till this weekend is over. Although I am sure this won't be the last of it. Guess where he is, doing what he said he wouldn't be doing. Yeah thats right, helping his sister move into their new place. His exact words, ohh about a month ago... "I am NOT helping them move, where are all their so called friends?! They can help them!" " (BIL's name) got this tiny trailer to move ALL their stuff instead of getting a UHAUL like most people do and get it done in one shot! How stupid!" Yeah looks who's loading that small stupid trailer as I type. Fuckin idiot! He hates when I call him out and you know I did. I couldn't keep it to myself. Don't talk shit you can't back up! Or follow through with! I guess the main reason I'm so annoyed and pissed is because he specifically told me to bring school stuff home (which I could be doing right now) and that he would watch Lilly.
So I lug this big ass bag of shit home to have him up and leave at the drop of a dime when mommy calls and gives him some kinda "moving" news. He had no plans on going over there till about 20 minutes ago. Lilly is sleeping in her swing so I plan on doing some lessons but its just the point. Its almost like he is looking for a reason to get out. And its not like he is locked up in the house. HE was the one who got to go out this weekend. NOT me! He went to some bar to watch the MMA fights with his buds while I again sat here doing lesson plans, running up and down the stairs every time someone decided she wasn't going to bed!! So he can kiss my ass!
Alright enough about that!! My baby will be 2 months tomorrow! WHOA! Where has time gone? She is changing so much. Her vision is great. She scans my face instead of having a blank stare. She is smiling and cooing and sometime laughing! LOVE it! I am thinking about piercing her ears but not sure when is a good time. She gets shots next Monday so I might ask the Pedi.

tired.stressed.happy.ready

2009-10-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Holy tired. I was in bed by 8pm last night. I brought home some school stuff to do and it never made it out of the bag! After getting Lillian ready for bed, I too was ready for bed! She ended up being fussy and Kevin was at his game so I brought her in bed with me for a few hours! Whatever it takes to get an hour of shut eye!
Stressed. I feel so torn because I am being such a slacker teacher. I am trying to play catch up from the crap I missed out on doing in the beginning of the year. I posted my schedule but A LOT has since changed. So I had to do almost everything over again. I have begged for lesson plans from my coworkers just to get through this week. I am going to have a ton to do over the weekend. Before I'd stay till 5pm and now I am out of there at 3 so I can go get Lillian from my moms house. And by the time I get back to my room its 2:20 which doesn't leave much time to plan, or get materials ready. I've been on the phone all week with parents about their animals... I mean kids. They were off the wall but are getting much better! They are sad the sub isn't there anymore so they can have a free for all! Poor babies! lol
Happy! I am sooo happy seeing Lilly smile and cooing. She has changed so much the last few weeks. Being away from her during the day I can really now see her changing. Before I was with her 24/7 I never noticed her growing but she sure is! She will be 2 months on Wednesday! WHOA!
Ready. I am SOOOOO ready for the weekend. Even though I'll be cleaning this messy ass house and doing school stuff! Booo! Maybe we might go out one night for dinner or something low key! Lots of sleeping while Lillian is too!
Ahhhh it 9:48pm and I still have to shower, get my stuff ready for tomorrow and get Lilly's stuff ready for my mom! TGIF.. well almost! :)

Smiles

2009-10-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

"where's my paci?"
I love how I am seeing Lillian make little changes. She is smiling and cooing and just being a great little girl! It amazes me how fast they change. And kinda makes me sad too. Sad because I go back to work on Monday and I am going to miss all those little changes! :( I need to get over it and stop harping on it. It is what it is and there is no changing it! My first born niece started calling my mom Rara when she was little and it stuck. I am so lucky to have Rara watching Lilly. It will make my life so much easier. We are paying her a small amount each week. She quit her job to take care of my nephew and she needs a little spending money each week. Spending money which 90% of the time is spent on the kids! Kevin will be dropping her off every morning and I'll be picking her up. In my contract at school I have to stay there till 3pm... I'll be outta there by 2:59!! haha!

Kevin is an awesome dad! Sometimes he has a short fuse when Lillian is crying. Not sure why but he has it in his head that "sometimes babies just cry!" yeah okay well being a MOM I am going to do whatever it takes to figure it out before calling it quits! The other night he took his turn to feed her... it was like 3am. He put her back down and she wasn't having it. She started crying, he tried 3-4 times to soothe her. Nothing was working. By then I woke up and asked what was going on. He told me he tried everything and he was "D-O-N-E.DONE!" Whoa. Ok there! All she wanted was her paci AGAIN!

Speaking of that damn paci! I Hate it. She is right now in her crib chasing it around. She arches her back, has her mouth wide open and tries rolling over to get it back in her mouth! She LOVES it but she sleeps with her mouth open and as soon as its out she is a screaming mess! Unless she is super tired and in a deep sleep. UGH!

My sister is having her little girl November 11th. My SIL has a 4month old little girl. SO many babies!! SIL is still in the process of getting her house together. It looks so nice! Kevin is done doing the floors there. Thank GOODness! I look forward to our weekends together!

Many of you know the situation with my sister who has been TTC forever. I haven't heard anything else about adoption. I know she needs more $ so until that comes around I don't think anything will be going on. It sucks so bad. My heart is broken for her! She is holding up though. She is SO freaking strong!!

Alright... I'm off to replace the paci which has fallen out AGAIN!! AHHH! lol

Hair Salons

2009-10-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

There is me... I got my hair done. Cut and colored. It was so nice! I feel human again. Now if the pregnancy mask would go away. This picture shows it pretty well. My skin use to be even. My forehead and cheeks are the worst. YUCK! Why is it that after going to get your hair done it smells & feels so good?! No matter how much $$ I spend on products it NEVER is like that after I do it at home!!

Also I find it funny how women will tell their hair dresser just about anything. I heard the funniest stuff today while sitting in the chair!

Here is Lillian having tummy time... so much for that idea! She passed right out! She is getting so squeezable!! I love it!

no more puppies and rainbows

2009-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Here it goes...

Yes, I lost my pregnancy weight (20lbs) fairly fast. BUT I was fat to begin with. I was about 120lbs when I met DH ( I was 17) ... and I was 160 when I got my BFP. How the eff does that happen? Being happy in love, not watching what I am putting in my mouth, not exercising. It comes on fast. So when I had Lillian and breastfed for that week or so it the pregnancy weight fell off. I was at one point down to 155... yeah well I am eating again and its coming back on again. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks but I can feel it! I go to my PP appointment and hope I get the ok to do things again. I am not looking forward to exercise again. And honestly have NO IDEA how I am going to fit it in now with a baby. But I have to.

My lady bits. I hyperventilated when I first got home from the hospital. Thought I was scared for life. What the fuck is that huge ass bump down there? I thought it was a hemmy but nope it was adema... swelling from the tear. Would it ever go back to normal? Would I ever let DH anywhere down there again? So far its shaping up nicely. I still get twinges of pain once in a while but not like before.

My back hurts like HELL. All the bending wrong while feeding her. Bending over to put her in her crib. Leaning over to change her diaper. In and out of the car with the car seat. I feel like I am 90 years old! I have a gift card for a message and I am going to use it. It's bad.

Things I hate about people. People who are so self consumed and can't look passed their own lives to what is happening in someone else's. People who have EVERYTHING they could ever ask for yet aren't satisfied with it. People who know you DO NOT want something to happen (your child's hair to fall out) yet comment about how its "thinning out" every time they see her. People who lie... your child does NOT sleep that well, he is 3 weeks old for goodness sake! People who judge others for feeling a certain way. People who have kids and don't take care of them or want them.

Thing I love about people. People who are dealt the shitty end of the stick but yet see positive end in it. People who give up their own time so that someone else can take an hour to themselves. People who are fair.

"Being a mom is the toughest job in the world" I remember hearing that and thinking "yada, yada, who wouldn't want to sit home all day and watch T.V. and take care of a kid!" HOLY shit were they right!! Its an effing non-stop on the go, life changing experience. Up all night, up all day! Making bottle after bottle. Burping, burping, changing, wiping, bathing, burping some more, another diaper change.... it NEVER stops!! Damn was I naive! "Oh it'll get easier" Really it will. WHEN?! lol

Family is the BEST! Who ever knew that I'd need them so much?! I thought I could move across the country and be just fine with out them. Once again wrong! My mom has been the BIGGEST help in the world. She has taken Lillian to spend the night there so that DH and I could get one full nights sleep. My sister Michelle was in town too so she helped out. She offers to take Lilly so I can come home and clean this pig pen of a house. No way could I have done it without her.

My husband. Ohh how I love him to pieces. Not always though! haha. He is great with Lillian but sometimes, not gonna lie. I want to pinch his head off! We are a lot a like when it comes to sleep... we need lots of it or else we get moody as hell. He tends to be an ass for a few minutes when over tired and then says sorry in time for me to forgive him. Just an example. He spends all day Saturday at his sister house putting in her wood flooring. Comes home. I need a break. Lillian isn't in the best of moods. She is screaming. He makes her a bottle. I simply ask "Are you going to bring her down here to feed her?" His response "Why the F would I do that?" huh.really? I give him a few minutes upstairs to think about the words that just flew off his tongue. Go upstairs and ask "What the hell did I do?" His response "Nothing. I'm sorry. I am just tired." Yeah OK Mr.Shitflysouttamymouthass!

Alright my novel is done... for now at least!

5 Weeks Old

2009-10-03T14:18:00.001-07:00

More pictures MOM??!

Lillian is doing great. She is eating like a little piggy. A few times she has eaten 5oz but I think she may be going through a little growth spurt. She was really fussy a few nights in a row and wouldn't go back down after her feedings. Last night she was great. Ate at 11:30, 5:30 and then again at 8:30. So I hope that is a trend... I'm not holding my breath! lol

Still loves to be swaddled and during her late nap she will put herself to sleep. I lay her down she looks around for a while and before I know it she is out... hope that continues too!! I really am lucky because she has been an awesome baby!

I know most of you already know the story about my sisters so I'll keep it short. My sister E is trying to be a surrogate for my sister M... we find out Wednesday if E is PG! Please say a BIG prayer that it happens! Here are a few more pictures of Lillian. I have become picture crazy recently!!

She is starting to love bath time! This is such an awful picture of me... but you can kinda see the brown blotches on my face. Damn pregnancy mask! I go to the dermatologist on Monday so hopefully something works to make it go away!

Such a BAD girl already! Giving me the bird!! I didn't realize she did that till after I uploaded the pictures! I think its hilarious!

One Month Old & Dear IL's

2009-09-29T17:59:00.001-07:00

Where does time go?!! I can't believe its been a month since she was born!! She is still doing really well. I love how she is starting to focus on faces and sometimes smiles when people talk to her. Specifically my mom who we call RaRa. The first grandchild couldn't say grandma and instead started RaRa and it stuck! RaRa always gets smiles out of Lilly!
My dear IL's! Oh I really honestly do love them to death. They are the sweetest most giving people in the world. But I will be honest. I am kinda anal when it comes to Lillian. Like for example... when I let MIL give her a bath. I think I'll go walk the dogs and not hoover over her while she is doing it. I don't want to come off as the crazy DIL. But WHY does she feel the need to change things up? Change things like combing over her hair over to the side??!! I've NEVER combed her hair like that. So why oh why take it upon yourself and start doing that?! For all I know she probably asked DH if she could and he said sure. But heaven forbid I speak about it with him. He might get his undies in a bunch!!
And then, ok its bedtime... can we please not speak in a high pitched voice? Does the lights dimmed low and TV turned practically all the way down not give you some kinda hint at what we are aiming for? Ok I need to stop writing as if I am talking to her. In fact I need to get over it all. Next time I'll make sure I don't leave her side while she is doing anything with Lillian. Its killing me to not ask DH if she asked him if it was okay... but I am letting it go! AHHHHHH :/ LMAO!!
Oh and Kevin... if you happen to be stalking my blog. Please don't let your mom do shit that we don't normally do. You know I love her but come on!!

What a difference a day makes!

2009-09-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was so different then the previous days. I feel like Lillian is starting on a routine all on her own. She often times wakes up between 8-9am where I feed her and then let her chill out on top of her changing table while I run around brushing my teeth, putting my eyes in (contacts) and getting dressed. I know I won't be doing this for long since I am terrified she'll roll off. I might have to just move her to the floor now. After a while she starts to fuss which usually means two things. Either she has a dirty diaper or she is getting tired. I try to get her to nap in her swing or bouncy seat but she isn't a big fan of them. So 99% of the time she'll fall asleep on me and then I **try** to move her to the bouncy seat. Which 99% of the time results in her waking up and me picking her up to soothe her. We have thrown in the pacifier towel and use it when needed. Sometimes if she isn't really really sleepy she freaks out when it falls out. But if she is super tired she could careless. So both yesterday and today she has taken a pretty long afternoon nap. Yesterday it was 1:15ish till about 4:15 where I kinda woke her up because I had to leave my parents house where we were. Today she napped from 1:00ish to about 4:00ish. So I found it funny that she napped around the same time both days. Last night she was fussy going down for the first time. We tried putting her down at 10:30 but she didn't fall asleep till about midnight. BUT she slept till 4:45 which was a pretty long stretch in between feedings. She ate at 10:00. So.... I am super curious how tonight will go. We gave her a bath and DH is finishing up feeding/burping her right now. Its 9:30. So we will see! I know its not good to do bath time every night due to the fact it could dry out their skin, but she sleeps really well the nights we do it. So I might just start doing it with out the soap nightly. And do soap every other or 3rd night.
So her yeast seemed to clear up a bit today... but we went ahead and bought the $100 Rx that the pedi called in for us. I hope that really knocks it out! Its worth the $$ if it helps her.
My sister is 34 weeks PG and we are throwing a shower for her this weekend. This is baby number two for her so its a tiny shower with just close friends and family. It'll be nice to be around other adults for a few hours!

yuck.work.yuck

2009-09-22T13:32:00.001-07:00

This is where Lillian fell asleep today while i was wrapping her up... and since she was so content i left her there!! She has been a sleep fighter the last few days. And seems very hard to please. Well of course unless she is in my arms. But i can't go pee or wash bottles while holding her!
Last night was a nightmare! She hardly napped at all yesterday and it made for one over tired lady = screaming for no reason other then being tired. Nothing seemed to comfort her. We tried it all and even broke down and gave her a pacifier... yeah she spit it right out. So she cried. It sucked so bad. She eventually passed out. Hoping we don't have that again tonight.

On another note...I go back to work on October 21st. YUCK! So not looking forward to it at all. I hear from everyone at work is how horrible things are there. We have a new Chief Academic Advisor in our district who is trying to change all sorts of things. They are doing walk throughs in our rooms to make sure those things are being done. The first one for our school just happens to be October 22nd... lucky ME! I'm going to ask my principal if they can skip my room. So not fair if they come in and expect to see certain things.

3 weeks old today

2009-09-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Can't really believe its been 3 weeks already! Time is really flying. I am starting to get anxious about going back to work. NOT looking forward to it at all. I only get 5-6 weeks of short term disability which I think is up the middle of October and then I have like 8 or 9 sick days I can use. So it looks like the end of October I'll be going back. It makes it easier to know my mom is taking care of her. She watched her today for me while I came home and cleaned the house. OMG... I had a puppy living behind my couch. SO much effing dog hair since it hasn't been done really well in about a month! So that was nice. Lillian does great at my parents house. I sware the child likes her swing and bouncy seat (hand me downs) more then the ones we have here at home. My mom says Lillian just likes her house better!! lol Anyways back to the work subject. I think the hardest part is going to be juggling it all. Lesson plans, Lillian, cleaning, its all going to be A LOT! But I guess it'll just take time to get use to like everything else.
SLEEP or lack there of is going to be tough too. Lillian is doing great still. Last night we put her down at like 9:30ish. She was up at 1 and then again at 5. She had a poopy diaper that woke her up at 8 after that. But often times she sleeps in longer. The hardest time is getting her down for the first time. She's fussy a bunch and kicks her legs. We swaddle her in the miracle blanket but it doesn't hold her legs in tight enough. She has no problem falling asleep in my arms. I put her down and she's fine for about 15minutes. But then soon after the legs start going, she starts fussing and before we know it she's full force screaming. Like right now. DH just went up to rock her a bit. I think she is fighting going to sleep. Op now he is done and she is out.... for now! lol
This rash/yeast whatever it is seems to have not gone away yet. I was bad and still used the Pamper diapers. But we're going to stop and use huggies to see if that really is making her flare up.
DH and I have date night tomorrow night. We're going to see Jim Brewer at the Comedy Corner. MIL is watching Lillian. LOVE MIL to death but I am very anal about how she is taken care of... but I'll save that for another post! haha!

Falling into our new life together!

2009-09-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

Things are finally starting to fall into place. By no means is it a piece of cake. I am not sure if its getting easier or if I am just getting use to it all. Lillian is doing great. She eats every 3 hours during the day and then has gone 4 hours at night. I bought that book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and have been trying the EASY method. E-eat, A-activity, S-sleep, Y- you time. I really like it. She has a hard time with the Activity part and gets tired quickly during certain parts of the day. So I usually don't mess with her and let her sleep. Like right now she has been sleeping for over an hour and is due to eat in about 30 minutes. We broke down and borrowed my sisters sound machine. Which she LOVES. The noise and her being swaddled = one happy little lady! DH was SO against the sound machine. He thought my nephew couldn't sleep with out it. But we have had it for 3 nights now so apparently he can. We ordered one and it should hopefully be here by Friday! At this point DH thinks whatever it takes for her to sleep. He does not care! lol

Houston we have NIPPLES! We found the nipples she loves online. DH ordered 7 of them. They arrived today. Thank goodness! They are still the slow flow kind. Should I be worried she is still needing slow flow? We tried the next one up and she was gagging and spitting it all over the place. Now we need a few more Medela bottles and we will be good to go!

She still has a tiny rash. I called the doctor and explained it to them. My sister with the 4 kids said it might be yeast. The nurse at the pedi office agreed and gave us a script. I bought huggies and also bought the Lansinoh wipes. The brand that makes the cream we used on our boobs for BF. The wipes are very soothing my sister said. They must be popular b/c there was only one pack left at Target. So if you are having issues with you LO and wipes try those. Kinda pricey but whatever it takes for her to be okay!
She is changing so much. Its freaking me out! :) Ohhh I am so excited. I can wear my wedding rings again! Not sure why but I hated not having them on! Yay!

Possibly ADHD

2009-09-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

I think I might be ADHD. Does it make me a bad mom that I am not looking forward to a week on the couch again? Eating, peeing, pooping and sleeping. Love Lilly to pieces but I need her to start talking! lol Totally kidding!
In all honesty I need to make a point to get out this week and try to keep myself busy. Tomorrow my mom is coming over. I have a doctors appointment in the morning because I think I might have a UTI. I have this annoying pain around my pee area. Not sure whats going on. Then I am picking up my dad from the airport. As for the rest of the week... I dunno. But my butt hurts from sitting here. And I think I might go crazy if I keep sitting here on my arse! Ok done bitching and complaining!

2 weeks old & PP hormones are a bitch!

2009-09-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Honestly this is the first picture of us since the hospital. I am always the one holding the camera!! Thanks to this picture I offically need new foundation!

We don't have bows but we have a fohawk! lol I pray everyday her hair doesn't fall out!

She is doing amazingly great! She is sleeping at least 3-4 hours at a time at night. We're trying to keep her up after eating during the day but she has been surprising us and doing it on her own.

DH and I are going out to eat tonight while my sister stays here with Lilly. Thank God for family! Just to get out might make me feel a little better. Speaking of bitch ass hormones! Not that I've been feeling HORRIBLE just a little sad once in a while. Its hard to go from living one simple routine day in and day out to a whole totally different routine and schedule. I've been missing going to bed with DH and laying in bed watching T.V. (how stupid I know), missing just getting up and going, a full nights sleep (which i know i'll be waiting a while on). Nothing really important just things I was so use to doing. Having time for just us. It was always a fear of mine that once Lillian came that DH and I would forget about "us" since we have been so focused of providing the needs of our new little sweetie. He says it will soon get easier and we will be able to do all those stupid little things we use to do. He says he feels the same way but reassures me it will get easier with time. It makes me feel better to know that he too wants to not forget about "us". I know that what I am feeling is normal from talking to others. Thanks Bee for making me feel like I am not crazy and that it is normal and will get better!! I am so grateful for all you girls! :)

2009-09-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

Went to the doctor today. Lillian has gained 1lb since the last visit. So she is at 8lbs 3oz. Doing great! Just some pictures!!

amazing

2009-09-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

first off please excuse the one handed no caps typing! :)
i am amazed at a number of things...
#1- i never thought that having a child would make me fall in love all over again with my husband. but it definietly has! he has been so loving, understanding and supportive. i tear up everytime i think about it. words cant explain it at all.
#2- so much can change in a short few days. i feel like the first few days home all that was going on was us trying to figure out what lillian needed or wanted. but we are learning more and more each day about one another and its getting easier.
#3- i went into this thinking i would give breastfeeding a shot and if it went well then awesome if not i wasnt going to kill myself over it. well it went ok the first few days and then got worse and worse. being so engorged ruined it. i tried pumping every 2 hours... it was sooo draining. i felt like my body was going to shut down. so after crying it out for 2 days i decided that breastfeeding was taking a toll on me and i wasnt able to enjoy my new best friend here! so i am done. we mixed all the bm with formula the last few days. and honestly she's been an angel ever since.
#4- thank God for family. even though my sister probably wants to pull her hair out from all my phone calls!! they have been SOOOOOOO helpful. my mom stayed here the first 4 nights and i couldnt have done it without her. not only that but she would make my dad cook and bring it over. ribs & steak... she dosent mess around! MIL is also very helpful. she cooks great and plans on doing lots of babysitting in the future!
#5- lillian, last but not least. she is changing already and i am terrified of her getting big! lol she is such a snuggle bug and loves to be wrapped up like a burrito! mommys favorite food! it amazes me that we made her and she was kicking the crap out of my ribs just 10 days ago! its crazy! lol
life is great and i truely feel so blessed!

1 Week old and PP belly pic

2009-09-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

Birth story

2009-09-03T13:59:00.000-07:00

So I was bad and didn't take notes so the times may be off a little bit. I woke up bright and early at like 4:30am and took a shower. I started totally having contractions before we left the house and was just realizing what contractions felt like! lol. It was like I was having menstural cramps. So we got to the hospital at 6am. Thinking back now we walked in there like nothing... oh boy what we were in store for!
I got there the nurses told me to change and empty my bladder. Then they came in and asked a bunch of questions and took vitals. The nurse checked me and OMG I thought I was going to jump out of the bed. She was digging for gold! And it was just HER because the next nurse on shift and the doctor's internals were nothing like that! So she checked me and I was already progressing on my own and was 4-5 cm. So they started the potocin at 7am. The contractions picked up right away. But were tolerable. Not for long! By like 9:30 they were HORRIBLE! I mean I thought I was going to rip my hair out! I asked the nurse about the epi and she said it was up to me when I wanted it... and thank GOD I asked for it when I did. So by 10:30ish I was getting the epi and started feeling better. The epi was cake. It felt like a bee sting. So by now I was 7-8cm. I think they backed off on the pitocin since my progress was going so fast. After the epi and relaxing I seemed to have stalled at 8cm for a good while. It was at like 3:00 when I started feeling pressure. The nurse suggested flipping me to one side and back and forth. She said I could do that for a while to get her head down and push 3-4 times or don't and end up having to push for 3 hours. LISTEN to your nurse! Thats all I have to say! lol
So I flipped a few times and flipped. I started getting lots of pressure and the urge to push. This was at like 4:00ish. The nurse came in and we did a few practice pushes. And never really stopped! Oh boy I wish I would have just kept flipping. I ended up pushing till she came at 6:20. So it was like 2 hours or something. Looking back I was a mess! Everyone was saying how great I was doing and she was "right there" I remember at one point being like "OMG you've been saying that for an hour now!" lol The only thing I remember being painful was the burn towards the very end. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear. That never really bothered me... the hemi's on the other hand. UGH! I'll leave it at that!
She came flying out and thank goodness because I don't think I could have pushed anymore! It was a lot of work but so worth it. She came out really fast with a huge gush of water. They threw her on my chest and I remember saying "OMG you are so worth the burn!" everyone was laughing! It was an experience! lol DH was there for those that know he wasn't sure if he could do it. He stayed behind me and was great. SO glad he did!
He has been amazing and I love him so much more seeing what an amazing father he is! Makes me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place!!
Anyways, I am feeling great overall. Really tired. The first few days I couldn't sleep at all when I got home but last night was much better. Hormones can do some crazy crap! Lillian is doing great. She is eating much better now. She had slight jaundice and we have been putting her in the sun. I started breastfeeding and they became SO engorged that she won't latch on. SO I am pumping like crazy. Supply isn't an issue at this point. I've been getting 1-1.5oz from each side. So we are just seeing how it goes!

Lillian is here!

2009-09-01T05:30:00.000-07:00

Lillian Paige born August 28, 2009 at 6:20pm. She weighed 7lbs 13oz, 20inches long. Things are coming together! No time for a birth story yet but enjoy the pictures!

Last Belly Pic... OMG!

2009-08-27T12:44:00.001-07:00

Its amazing how time flies and your belly GROWS! haha! Up there is me at 7 weeks... and down here is me today at almost 39 weeks! Whoa!

It looks much bigger when its not covered up!

So tomorrow is the BIG day! It still hasn't hit me yet. I am not one to get overly excited very easily. I just kinda go with it. I am super anxious to see her. I pray she is healthy! That is my first priority. I am curious if she will have lots of hair, will she look like me or more like DH. DH has super long eye lashes... I'd love for her to have those! I wonder what kind of baby she is... and pray she is like me and laid back! haha!

It is so surreal to me that this time tomorrow she will **hopefully** be out and in my arms. I still can't believe it!! DH is taking me to dinner at Cheesecake Factory for our last date night probably for a while! I am so excited that he decided to "try his best" so he says to be in the room for the delivery! He had me laughing again last night while packing the bag. I asked what clothes he wanted and he said "Why I'm not staying at the hospital!" I said "Bullshit, you're not leaving me there by myself!!" He was totally kidding but I wasn't!

We were in bed and I asked him, now that the pregnancy is almost over was it as bad as he expected. He said not at all. I was bitchy a few days when I went back to work but besides that I was good, and he was proud of me! He's so sweet! He was terrified of what pregnancy would do to me and my mood. I think he needs to be more concerned about PP now! haha!

Okay well the next update with be pics and a birth story! I hope to get it up as soon as possible so I don't leave out any details!

Thanks so MUCH for all the well wishes! You girls are the best!!

Awesome Gift & Baby News!

2009-08-25T06:57:00.000-07:00

A handmade bassinet!! I was in shock. Okay so this is a kinda strange situation. My ex from high school... his uncle now works with DH. This uncle knew I was a good kid back then and knew his nephew effed up when he cheated on me and broke my tiny heart! haha! So when he started working with DH, DH told him about how he was now married to me. They ended up working closely together and this uncle loves my DH. So yesterday he asked DH if he could bring something over that he made for us & Lillian. I was totally taken back when I saw it! It matches the furniture in her room. DH had no idea either! We are so blessed to have such awesome people in our lives. I just think its funny how life works! Never thought this ex's uncle would be involved in our child's life!

On another note... baby news! So yeah. I'll be meeting my little lady on Friday August 28th! I am feeling every kind of emotion you can think of! I am NOT putting this out there on the boards b/c I know so many people have different feelings on induction. And honestly I don't want to hear them! I went to the doctor yesterday and the doctor I saw is the type that will tell you how it is. Even if you don't want to hear it! And she said I'd be fine to go ahead with it. So that made me feel better. A few of the other doctors are really relaxed but not this one. She is very cautious and I felt if she was on the fence about it then I would need to think twice about it. But she said baby and I would do fine. She said since I've made so much progress at this point it should go fast (fingers crossed) and I'd meet her that same day! I can't financially not be paid for a month. So being that I am on maternity leave already, the doctor said Lillian will be fine, I decided to go ahead with it. I've told some of you already and I REALLY appreciate you being so understanding! It means a lot! :)

So I will soon meet Lillian and be able to hold her in my arms! I am thrilled and nervous all at the same time!!

Before & After Pics of my feet

2009-08-22T08:36:00.001-07:00

The first pic is what my feet looked like after work on Thursday. The 2nd one is what they look like today. That is evidence that PG women should NOT have to work!! LOL wishful thinking huh?!

No more work for me!

2009-08-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

I decided to go on maternity leave early and not risk getting sick. And to be honest I am okay even if I don't get paid for 2 weeks. My principal was great about it and said for me to look at this time as a reason to pamper myself before baby comes. She is right! She technically can't say if I have to stay or go but was really supportive of my choice. I asked some of my close teacher friends if I was over reacting and they all agreed its better to be safe then sorry.

I guess my little friends are already giving the sub crap! She lets it happen so I can't expect any different. One little guy took it upon himself to move his seat today. He is such a pistil!! I know I am going to have my work cut out for me once I go back. But in the last few days I've seen they CAN do the right thing!

I can't wait to go to my appointment on Monday and find out if I've made anymore progress. The swelling in my feet has gone down. I think I over did it yesterday at work and not drinking enough water. Now I just sit and wait for her little face to show up!

37w 3d, H1N1, possibly Pre-e

2009-08-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Getting big!! I am hoping I am not having signs of pre-e but rather just having end of pregnancy symptoms! Feet & hands are swollen as heck, I've gained 4-5 lbs in a week, slightly high BP. I haven't been to the doctor in a week. I was suppose to go in tomorrow but that leads into the H1N1 situation.
A kid in my grade level has a confirmed case of H1N1. I found this out this morning after being called in the principals office. So I was sent to urgent care. I thought they would swab my nose to test me for influenza A but nope they gave me a script for Tamiflu and sent me on my way. SO the OB's office won't let me come in till Monday now! I understand they don't want anyone else infected if in case I do end up with it. I think if my BP was up a lot higher they'd want me to go to the hospital or the urgent care again.
Besides that things are going... she is moving around like crazy. I feel her really LOW in my booty and crotch! ITs fun teaching and having a stabbing feeling down there! OUCH! I am so stressed out about leaving a sub in my room for that long! I am also having a hard time planning stuff for her... I am doing 2 weeks worth and thats it. She probably won't even do half the stuff I leave so its hard to plan too much!!

Can't wait to meet Lillian and hold her in my arms!!

Going back to school SUCKS!

2009-08-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

OMG. I sat in meetings from 8am-3:30pm and didn't gain an ounce of knowledge! So annoying. Thank goodness I stole a comfortable chair from the office. That and trying to figure out maternity leave, short term disability, and using sick/personal days once I go out is INSANE! The girl who takes care of my benefits isn't the sharpest tool in the box.
Benefits girl: When is the last day you are working?
Me: Good question, I am working up till the day I have her.
Benefits girl: Well, when is that?
Me: (thinking to myself) I left my effing magic 8 ball at home. douche! I dunno the day before she shows up.
Benefits girl: Oh well I'll just send in the paperwork with out a date.
Me: Um, okay.
I still have no effing idea how it all works. I've heard so many horrible stories of women not being paid, but their sick days are gone. yada yada.
Venting done! :)

36w belly pic & progress

2009-08-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

Lillian's Halloween outfit! I couldn't pass it up for $10!

I was so hot from walking the dogs. I look like a mess!

Someone seems to be in a hurry... and its NOT me ::whispers Lillian:: lol

It all started over the weekend. I noticed (possible TMI warning) a think brownish colored mucus on my panty liner. Then Sunday a lot more of the same stuff in the toilet. So I assumed I was loosing my MP. Which means nothing really.
So today I went into my appointment again thinking ahh I'm probably the same ol' 1cm and 30% effaced. I told the doctor how I think I lost my MP and she seemed surprised. So she checked my belly, listened for the heartbeat. Everything was fine. Then she checked me and seemed even more surprised to realize that Nope, I am 3cm, 50% effaced and -1 station. I knew I dropped b/c I could actually eat more then 2 bites again! I was really taken back and made the doc repeat herself! She told me its really rare for a 1st time pregnancy and said "You are like a machine!" She asked if I noticed any contractions. But I honestly haven't noticed anything major. So she mentioned something about how I'd be perfect for induction at 38 weeks. And that we would just see how things pan out. I was at a loss of words. I didn't ask one single question I planned on! Ah well!

So my plan at this point is to take it week by week. The only plus about being inducded would be for my job. I would be able to pin point when I'd be out and when my sub can take over. That and not having my water break in front of 18 kids ages 6-7! "Whats that Mrs.A?" lol

Guess time will tell!! :)

Week 35 Pics, Survey & Doc Appointment

2009-08-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

How far along? 35w
Total weight gain: 15lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, and running low on them
Stretch marks? A few new ones on my hips
Sleep: Not too bad. Lots of tossing and turning. Still getting up tons to pee.
Best moment this week: Getting things ready for her arrival. We bought the monitor and I took the breast pump out to get an idea how to use it. Also had a BF class that was very helpful.
Movement: In my ribs, kinda hurts!
Food cravings: Nothing crazy and anything I DO NOT have to cook!
Gender: GIRL!!
Labor Signs: none that I can point out but being 1cm & 30% effaced, somethins going on!
Belly Button in or out? In but very flat
What I miss: Wearing my wedding rings, sleeping on my belly
What I am looking forward to: My next appointment to see if I am progressing more at all.
Milestones: 35w 35 days to go!!

I had my first weekly appointment this morning. I am 1cm dilated and 30% effaced. I'll take that! Better then nothing. I know it means jack as far as when I will go into labor but its a good sign that something is happening. Doctor said that her head is definitely down. She did the strep-B test. I thought for sure when she checked me it would hurt but it didn't at all.

Right now I am sitting in my classroom and have ZERO motivation to do a thing! Its a mess. Tables and chairs every where, crap on almost every table.... better get busy!

Doctors App Update

2009-07-30T15:15:00.000-07:00

So I guess my diastolic blood pressure (the bottom #) is a little high. It was 87. She didn't seem too concerned and said it was like that at my 12w appointment. She checked my swelling which isn't bad at all and said my urine was fine. Plus I haven't gained any weight in 4 weeks. So basically she wants to keep a close eye on it. I go back on Monday, she said that way they can do the Strep B test and check the blood pressure.

I asked the doctor if she could tell what position she was in yet. So she poked and moved around my belly. Once she got low I could feel something and it was kinda painful, she assumed it was her head. So that's a good sign, if the doctor was right!! Maybe that explains all the jabs I've been getting in the ribs! Love em though!!

I am trying NOT to freak out right now. I went into school today and cleaned... now I am sneezing like crazy. And hoping that it is just from the dust and I'm not getting sick! Say a prayer for me!!

Went to the breast feeding class tonight. She was great and had lots to explain. She is there Monday- Friday and says that once LO comes she will be there to help. I will take full advantage of her! ;)

Other then feeling uncomfortable from my growing belly, being a total slack ass and sneezing, I am feeling great! I can't wait to meet Lillian and see what she looks like!

34 weeks & Key Largo trip

2009-07-27T08:15:00.001-07:00

6 weeks left!!! Ekkkk!
We went to Key Largo for the weekend to get away before Lillian comes. It was great to just get away and not have Internet, dogs to walk, parents calling, dishes/laundry to do, or anything that happens in our every day lives.
The weather on Saturday was crappy so we spent most of the afternoon lying around talking about Lillian.
We rented a Jeep Wrangler for the weekend (DH has always wanted one so this gave him an opportunity to drive it and make sure he'd like it, YES he loved it!!) We decided to jump in and drive south. We got to Key West and the sky cleared up a bit. I love the atmosphere down there, so laid back!! Sunday was much better for the first part of the day. We were able to get out and enjoy the pool before heading back home. The bed where we stayed was HORRIBLE. Hard as a rock so I barely got any sleep! Boo to that!
Otherwise the getaway was wonderful! I felt like it gave us a chance to sit back and enjoy each other! :)

33 weeks

2009-07-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

I look like a HOUSE!
How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain: (I took out the loss part, haha!) About 15 pounds

Maternity clothes? Yes 100%

Stretch marks? Hips

Sleep: What is sleep? Oh that thing called tossing, turning and peeing!

Best moment this week: Hearing her heartbeat at my appointment.

Movement: Yes, in my ribs and up really high! Ouch!!

Food cravings: Dying for a house salad from Outback with ranch dressing!! Think I am going to get one to go tomorrow for lunch! YUM!

Gender: GIRL!!

Labor Signs: None that I know of

Belly Button in or out? In but getting really flat

What I miss: My wedding rings still, full nights sleep, my ankles

What I am looking forward to: Going to Key Largo for the weekend! Our last hoorah before becoming parents!

Milestones: Not sure of any milestones but I am measuring a week ahead. Getting anxious to see her... I have 7 LONG weeks to go! :)

Lillian's Shower @ 32 weeks

2009-07-13T13:01:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness I have the best family ever! They put together a great shower and I am so blessed to have them! Between the all the food and decorations it was amazing! The picture up top was before I started opening the gifts.

This picture is a quilt my mother hand made for us! She is so special and to have something she took so much time & energy to make means SO much.

Another smaller quilt my mom made. She said Lillian can use it as a security blanket. So sweet!!

This is a picture of a Christening dress my MIL made out of my wedding dress. I asked her when we found out we were PG to make something out of my dress as a keep sake. And when we found out Lillian was a girl I asked her if she'd be able to make a Christening dress. She said it would be too difficult, but she has a friend who helped her and this was the outcome! So cool!!

My mom & sisters

Opening the gifts!

Cute decorations!!

The yummy cake! It said "Welcome Lillian" on it. Love how they matched the cherry blossom theme!!

We are SO incredibly blessed and got everything we could possibly need. I originally thought we got TONs of 3-6mo clothes but after just going through it all we got a little bit of everything. Toys, necessities, bigger items (swing, travel system, pack n play, boppy seat). I couldn't ask for more!

31 weeks

2009-07-07T05:21:00.001-07:00

I am a little late on this but oh well!! I was super lazy this weekend and didn't take a picture. :(
How far along? 31 weeks 3days
Total weight gain/loss: Depends on what scale I am on... doctors office up15; mom's scale up 11.
Maternity clothes? For sure
Stretch marks? A few new ones on my hips
Sleep: Sleep, pee, sleep, pee, pee, sleep. It hasn't been a full nights sleep in a LONG TIME!
Best moment this week: Spending time with my nephew who loves hanging out in Lillian's nursery.
Movement: Lots of bumps and rolls. Sometime its shocking and hurts a little bit.
Food cravings: PF Changs Chicken Lettuce Wraps (still need to go there)
Gender: GIRL!!
Labor Signs: Nada, not even Braxton Hicks that I have noticed.
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Wearing my wedding rings
What I am looking forward to: My shower is this Saturday 7/11!!!
Milestones: 9 weeks left... Woo Hooo!!

Lilly's 3D u/s pics

2009-06-30T07:05:00.001-07:00

Here she looks like she had a bad taste in her mouth!

Thumb almost in the mouth!

Big yawn... she did this a lot though out the whole u/s!

Lilly's Nursery Pics

2009-06-23T19:17:00.001-07:00

Up close shot of the crib and bedding. The wall just to the right of the crib needs something. We haven't figured that out yet but we know it's too bare. We are thinking something vertical.

Her name... boy oh boy was that a bizotch to get up. They are as straight as they are ever going to get. Think we did a pretty damn good job! :)

The dresser/changer and crib with the fabulous tree! It turned out really cute and we are totally thrilled by our decision! I really can't believe we are practically done. Keeping it kinda simple. We are also missing a lamp to go on the nightstand which is to the right of the crib. So a few more things and it will be all set!

29 week pic and getting nervous!!

2009-06-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I was getting ready to leave for a bridal shower hence why I am more dressed up then usual. I am still feeling great. Heart burn sometimes but only seems to come when I eat pasta sauce. By the way, I am a STARVING trucker right now... and blame it all on Lady! The lucky charms are calling my name once again! ;)

The lady who is painting the cherry blossom tree in the nursery comes tomorrow at 9am. I really hope it turns out how I have it pictured in my mind. I'm sure it will. DH put the crib mobile on yesterday and says "Oh does it play music?" as he proceeded to turn the tiny knob and sure enough really sweet music started playing... we both looked at each other like, HOLY shit we are going to be parents! It was classic! It is starting to freak me out to think in 11 weeks or less I will be a mom. WHOA! I am the baby of the family, they took care of me. I didn't take care of anyone! Am I capable of doing this?!! LOL
I wish I was working instead of doing all this thinking these days! I'll be fine. It will be okay (Like how I am talking myself into positive thinking?!)

Besides that things are well! We go to the 3D u/s on Thursday and then Friday I am off to Georgia with the family. DH is staying back since its his last weekend of working! Whoo Hooo!

New look & doctors appointment

2009-06-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

I was kinda bored today so I decided to change my blog. The header was a little difficult but over all I think I did an okay job!

On another note I had a doctors appointment today. He kinda freaked me out (being dramatic lol) when he said "Your now at the point of your pregnancy where you have to be aware of cramps. If they last longer then 30 seconds, do not go away with drinking fluids and putting your feet up, and you have more then 5 in one hour... then you should be calling us. " I was like okay... I assumed at that point he was referring to BH contractions. So the whole point that I am now in 3rd tri and its towards the end of the road pretty much scares me! But I'll get over it. I told DH what the doctor said and his response, "So let me guess your at home now and having cramps?!" No ass wipe. I am freaking out because Lillian will be here before you know it! He makes me sound like such a puss puss sometimes! But I love him!

Right after my appointment I ran to school to find out when my classroom will be ready for me to go back in. I want to start putting back as much as I can before I get any bigger. Why we had to take everything off the walls for them to wax the floors is beyond me. Annoying! At least the lady who is subbing is offering to come help me!

28 weeks

2009-06-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

Bare belly... my pants were tight before I pulled them down!

Here is me. Looking annoyed b/c its hot as heck outside these days! lol

Yay! We are going on a mini vaca before Lillian comes. We decided to go to Key Largo and stay at the Marriott Beach Resort. All it will be is a lot of relaxing and hanging out... my kind of fun! I go to the doctor again on Tuesday and then I'll have to start going every 2 weeks. I need to make sure with the doc that is okay to travel when we are going. I also might be going to Georgia to my parents property (they plan on building a home on it) the last weekend in June. Their best friends live up there and have been wanting me to go up for a while. I'll be a tag along with my sister and her family. Not sure about sitting in the car for 8 hours though. :/

Things are good! We changed our 3D u/s AGAIN. DH has volleyball now on Wednesday nights so we moved it to June 25th... can't wait!

27 week survey

2009-06-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

Survey!!
How far along? 27 weeks
Total Weight Gain? Not 100% sure but going with around 11 lbs
Maternity Clothes? BFP
Stretch Marks? Just the ones from pre-pregnancy (hips)
Sleep? Very restless, lots of tossing and turning
Best Moment this week? Seeing SIL give birth... still amazed! And getting the nursery furniture.
Food Cravings? Anything I SHOULDN'T be having
Gender? Still girl
Labor Signs? Nada
Belly Button? still an inny but getting flatter
What I miss the most? being able to bend down/over easily
What am I looking forward to the most? Seeing Lillian again June 17th
Milestones? Almost in 3rd tri!

Witnessed my SIL give birth today!

2009-06-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, wow, wow! It was amazing! I got to the hospital at around 12:15 this afternoon and was surprised that her legs were full up in the air and she was pushing. I got right in my spot which was up by her head fully aware that I didn't want to see anything that she wasn't comfortable with me seeing. About 20 minutes go by of pushing... and yeah its impossible to not see the goods down there, she says to me "You can look!" and I responded with an "I did" and her hubs reassured her everyone can see down there! lol. She had the epi before I got there but made it clear that it was HELL before the epi. She said the pain was horrible and couldn't picture doing it with out the epi. After about 45 minutes the doctor came in to assess the situation. And then about 10 minutes after that she was gearing up. SIL was pushing and taking breaks all along. She didn't complain at all besides being tired. It was a full blown workout. That part scares me!! I am such a lazy ass! lol
So another few minutes go by and the room filled up with nurses. The doctor by this time is in her gear. The bottom half of the bed comes off and they put this bag under her butt that goes all the way to the floor (it catches all the nastiness) and a table was covered in blue sterile paper with lots of instruments on top. Everyone was in go mode... SIL needed ice. I was the only one with the free hand. And had to scramble to get ice or a sip of water for her... I've waited tables but never had to poor water under that kind of pressure! haha
So I get out of the way so the respiratory nurse can get to her suction tube and sit back and watch. She pushed probably 6 times and had to be cut a tiny bit (for this I turned my head).
I was on the phone with DH whispering to him what was going on.
Me: "OMG her head is out... she is so cute... her head is the only thing out."
DH: "Why are you looking down there?"
Me: "How can you NOT?!"
Me: ;;; sobbing like a baby;;;
And she came right out like nothing. She cried pretty much before the rest of her body was even out. She is perfect and I am so glad I was able to be there. I was REALLY surprised at how big the afterbirth or placenta I guess you would call it was. They had a round dish they put it in and it pretty much filled up the entire thing. BIL was hilarious when he saw this happen... "What was THAT?!" he said. It was funny! So that was my afternoon! Pretty neat. I hope my experience is just as it was for her. DH and I are going back up to the hospital after he gets off work. Happy Birthday Alexa!

Nursery furniture has arrived!

2009-06-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

This is a shot of the top of the changer. It has a pattern on the top almost like bead board. This shot shows a little bit of the color too. Its called mochachino.

Five drawer dresser... the pictures do no justice. It makes it look black and its not at all but rather a dark brown. We aren't fans of the knobs so we will be changing those eventually.

Changer/dresser shot.

And the crib. It's us... simple! There is a nightstand (on the right) but I didn't take any pics of it. Having the furniture in the room kinda freaks me out! It is starting to become really REAL now! lame I know but its the truth! I can't wait to put the bedding on and have the lady paint the cherry blossom tree on the wall. She is coming June 22nd. :)

26 weeks

2009-05-31T13:34:00.000-07:00

26 weeks... can't believe almost into 3rd tri. Getting excited and anxious to see her! SIL had lost her mucus plug on Friday night so we are excited to see Alexa too.

There is the nursery which is acting like a storage room right now. Everything that was given to us gets dumped up there for the time being. We got in touch with the delivery company and will be getting the furniture sometime Wednesday. YAY! So excited! So I took all the hand me downs and started washing them so that I can get some what "organized" once the furniture gets here. Its all so tiny & cute!

I am so ready for the school year to be OVER! 3 more days with the kids then on Tuesday of next week I will officially be done! I really want to stay busy this summer and not sit around and get a big as a tent! :)

WHAT the heck?!!

2009-05-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

For some reason I can't upload pics. It pops up with an error message and isn't working! UGH!

Anyways, DH got a call today saying all our furniture was in! YAY!! I can't wait for it to be here. So this time next week we should be set. Then that means I can call the lady who is coming to paint the cherry blossom tree in the corner. And get the clothes (hand me downs) washed and put away. We have got so much hand me downs. So far we have lots of clothes, bouncy seat, swing, bathtub, play mat, sleep nest (portable sleep thing for when they are tiny), breast pump, pack n play, exersaucer, jumping seat that hangs in the door, diaper champ and lots of other various toys. It's crazy! I still registered for most of these things. If we get them great... then the used stuff can go to my moms house. If not we will figure out what we need to bring back or return and keep the used stuff.

Feeling her move lots more in different parts like up by my ribs. I totally ate shit at work this week. Right in the main hallway of the office. Water was splattered down the whole freaking hallway. Luckily I landed on my right knee... hurt like a bitch but Lilly was fine! Everyone was flipping out. I was more scared then anything b/c I never saw it coming. The end of the year is such a PITA. We have to take everything off our walls even if we aren't moving classrooms. Why you might ask... NO idea! I tried taking down what I could today but DH is going in with me to get the rest off the walls. Lots of paperwork and returning books, and resources... also known as waddling my tubby ass around the campus looking for people to sign off on my "checklist" that HAS to be done before we leave.
I plan on using comp time when SIL has Alexa. If she doesn't go into labor on her own by Wed 6/3 then she will be induced. She is getting nervous. I told her to let me know and I'll do whatever she needs. Okay this is turning out to be a LONG freaking post! Need to figure out what is going on with this error code when trying to upload pics!

25 weeks

2009-05-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

Can't believe its 25 weeks... time is ticking. I am just now starting to get over this cold. My nose is still stuffy but nothing like it was before. So glad DH hasn't caught it! Speaking of DH. He has been great. He took really good care of me while I was sick. Not complaining of the laundry basket that was over flowing or about wearing one pair of jeans 3times in one week with out being washed. Gross I know but I did nothing all week as far as cleaning and laundry! He is really wonderful and I couldn't ask for more! He is hopefully leaving his 2nd job (that he does on weekends) come the end of June. He has worked his tush off and deserves to have his weekends again. If need be he can go back to make the extra $ but thats only if we get in a bind.
We ended up registering last weekend at BRU and I also started one at Target to give people options. BRU is about 20 minutes from here and some people don't like the drive. I was shocked to see (thanks to E's good eyes) that someone already bought our travel system and bouncy seat from BRU... someone is on the ball! We also bought a glider at Walmart. It matches the rest of the nursery furniture perfect. It wasn't expensive and will get the job done. Speaking of nursery furniture. We are still waiting to hear from the store about the night stand and bed rails. Thats all that we're waiting on. So DH said last night that if the night stand isn't here by the end of June we will schedule them to deliver everything else and once those two things get in we will make the drive down to get it. He said he wants the furniture before my shower (July 11th) which I totally agree with him on! So that's exciting!
We haven't set it in stone but I am 98% sure we are going to use Paige as her middle name. So it will be Lillian Paige. It is the only middle name that keeps coming back to me. Ohhh I almost forgot SIL has 2 weeks left. She is 1 cm dilated... it is going to be so fun seeing Alexa and seeing how the family handles the whole situation! lol :)

WHAT... no more u/s!

2009-05-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor today and of course asked when or if we would get anymore u/s and he said no unless the baby is measuring too big or small. :(
Boo to that! Heard the heartbeat which is always amazing! He measured my belly which was a first and said I am measuring right on track. I am only up 7lbs which is surprising with all the bagels & donuts I've eaten the last few weeks from Dunkin Donuts! I go back June 16th and have to do the glucose test a week before that appointment. Then after the June 16th appointment I start going every 2 weeks for check ups. I asked him about this stupid head cold I have and he said it just has to run its course... didn't want to hear that! But whatever. I will throw a fit if I still feel like shit come 2 weeks from now!
Besides that things are good. Counting down the last days of school... 10 more to go!

24 weeks

2009-05-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Finally a picture taken by DH! I can't believe I am 24 weeks. Still feeling her move a lot which is really neat. I am getting a little concerned about my weight. I think I am up something like 8-9 lbs and so I am trying to be really careful what I am putting in my mouth. Everyone says enjoy it while you can... my thought on that is that I won't be enjoying working it OFF so why do that to myself now! I don't want to have to kill myself after she gets here trying to loose weight (weight I had before she was even in there) and so I am going to now try to really buckle down. Okay enough on that!
We haven't registered yet and that leaves us with next weekend. We are 100% going to get it done. DH for some reason is not that into the whole idea. Probably because he knows me so well and knows how extremely indecisive I am! I suck at picking out anything! And honestly I am not that excited about it either for that fact! I'm such a PITA! :)
A few more weeks till the 3d/4d ultrasound... can't wait to see her again!

23 weeks

2009-05-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like my belly hasn't changed much since last week so I will spare everyone with the belly pics! I've been sick the last few days and it still is lingering. What a pain in the ass. I had a fever so the doc put me on a zpack. Its helping but I am still not 100%. Lillian is doing great. Kicking like crazy. SIL came over to watch a movie last night and she is 36 weeks... she is so ready! Little Alexa was moving her belly all over the place. It was nuts! Besides that nothing much is new. Kinda boring as usual!

21w 5d Pics

2009-04-30T14:52:00.001-07:00

This is the empty nursery. Found out today we won't be able to pick up the furniture till next weekend. They have to move it from their warehouse to the store and they won't be able to do it by this weekend. BULL if you ask me!

My toes... I need a pedi asap!

First bare belly shot. You can see my crazy birth mark below my belly button. It looks like liquid coming from my belly button. I feel like I look huge in these pics and I am just half way done... I am going to be a beast! LOL! I was laying down after school today and she was kicking like crazy. I put my hand on my belly and she kicked so hard it scared me. I actually jumped! DH felt her the other night. It was really neat. It's very light but he was able to feel it.

So pissed off!! LONG POST

2009-04-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

Family can rock and family can suck. And right now they suck!
A few years ago when DH and I moved into our house my sister had furniture in her house that she needed to get rid of. It was my mom's furniture. This is the same bedroom set that I grew up in. Its really nice oak hardwood furniture. So being that DH and I had nothing to fill the spare bedroom we took it. I swore my mom said we could HAVE it. I don't barrow shit. Simply for the fact that I don't like being responsible if something happens to it and later on down that line have to hear about it for the rest of my life.

So my sister who lives down here (who is 10w PG) called to see if I could lend her the dresser and nightstand to that set to use for her 2 yr olds room. I hear my mom in the background yelling, "Thats MY furniture". I was livid and hung up on her. Note this sister hangs up on me once a month and freaks at the drop of a dime.

So an hour I call her back. And she says, "Oh mom was kidding about the furniture." My mom is flaky so I thought okay. I explained to my sister that if she would have asked a week earlier she could have used those pieces. But we just sold all the office furniture and all the crap that was in it is now in the dresser and nightstand.

So I call my mom a little while later. My dad answers her cellphone. I asked him why he is answering her phone... he never answers any phone that rings! He say that my mom is upset with me b/c I hung up on her... um no I hung up on Melissa (sister). Such bullshit. So she gets on the phone and she asks me what I am doing. I said "The guys just got done moving MY furniture." thinking if she was kidding then it would be funny... yea not at all. She flipped out telling me its her furniture and for me to get ready b/c when they move to GA (in 4 years) she will be taking it with her. I LOST IT! I never go off on my mom and I did.

I told her that she needed to come get it in the morning then and I don't want it in my house. My mom has done this to my two oldest sisters before with a lamp and another dresser. So I should have known better and made her put it in writing! DH was livid as well. I know it will all work itself out but it just bullshit.

This sister that lives down here is nicknamed "The LOVE child" in the family. I know if she wouldn't have asked this would have never been an issue. But because she is in need of it now I am an asshole and inconvenienced. I called her too and told her to come get it b/c apparently what Melissa wants, Melissa gets. Boy she didn't like that! LOL :)~

Anyways, this post is freaking LONG and I needed to get it all out. I am pretty upset that they spent all afternoon moving this effing furniture from the spare bedroom down to the den and now my mom is starting shit about it. I am just disappointed! :(

21 weeks- HOly movement!

2009-04-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

I've been really feeling her move this week. The neatest thing was at school the other day. The kids have song folders and we practice singing/reading the songs and they LOVE it so they get really loud. Well apparently Lillian liked it too!! She was moving all over the place while they were singing. It was really cool.

We sold the furniture that was in the den which means the bedroom furniture in the nursery can be moved down. YAY! DH is going to have his buddy come over tomorrow to get that started. The bedding came in on Tuesday. It is so cute! I am scared to take it out of the package! :)

Shower Invitations

2009-04-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

These are the shower invites my sister emailed me today. They match the nursery bedding perfectly! The shower itself isn't till July but she is getting a head start. I am super excited about starting the nursery. This weekend we are going to touch up paint in the den where the furniture that is the nursery right now will be moved. Doing small things here and there.
Starting to feel her move a lot more. Yesterday while sitting my rear on the couch ALL DAY doing lesson plans I really noticed it. And then again last night in bed. Its pretty damn cool! Very light movement but more then before.

Jessie's gift, Belly pic & Nursery bedding

2009-04-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

Jessie sent me this adorable dress for Lillian! Even DH got all mushy when he saw it! Thank you Jessie SO much! I can't wait to take a picture of her in it! :)

Here is my latest belly pic. Tomorrow will be 20 weeks. It is starting to really hit me these days! I am really excited to meet her and see what she looks like!

This is the bedding we bought. I think it was possibly Bee who showed it to me forever ago and I loved it. So when we found out it was a girl & DH agreed he liked it we went ahead and ordered it. We are thinking about having someone come in and paint a cherry blossom tree in one corner in the nursery. One that will match the bedding. But we're still on the fence. I don't want it to be too much. So we will see once it arrives. Oh we got a call today about our furniture. The dresser/changer and the taller dresser are already in. So they are just waiting on the rest. That was much faster then I thought. Hopefully the rest comes in soon so we can start putting it all together!

Feeling MUCH better!

2009-04-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

I saw the "hamburger" so its definitely a girl! :)

This ultrasound place was so cool. It had a spa feel to it and was really just a little hole in the wall. The room where they did the u/s they had a huge screen where you could watch everything. It was like being at the movies! And the room itself was huge too. So plenty of people could come with. The tech said we were lucky to get a great shot at the start because she went back a few times and she was all curled up. She didn't have her thumb in her mouth today. And was moving all around. We got a DVD of the whole thing. I've watched it 5 times already!! I love that I can pop it in and see her moving around in there! SO worth the $$. My mom told me to go ahead and order the bedding and she'll pay for it! YAY! So I'll be doing that soon. It's really starting to hit me these days. Especially watching her move around. During the past ultrasounds it was so cut and dry and wasn't pleasant at all. This was a whole different experience. We're going back May 27th for the 3D/4D. I am lmao right now... SIL just called to double check if it was still a girl! Haha! :)~

2nd BIG u/s set up!

2009-04-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am such a dork! So the u/s tech's words have been running non stop through my mind, "I THINK its a girl." So I said eff it and made an appointment at a local u/s place to get a "Pink or Blue" u/s done tomorrow! Not wasting anytime! Its only $95 for a 2d to determine the sex. If for some reason baby still has her legs crossed I get to go back at no charge. So its totally worth it to me for the peace of mind! And if I want to go back for the 3d/4d u/s I get 15% off. Which we will probably do. So I am excited to see her (hopefully her) again! :)

Today is our 2 year Anniversary! Time is flying! And life is great!

Whoo Hoo Team Pink!

2009-04-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

It's a GIRL! We are thrilled! DH wants here her right now! The first picture is the not so great money shot... its really small but as you can see no penis there! The second picture is her sucking her thumb! We have some names picked out. But some of you know that whole controversy! ;) Nothing new there. Can't wait to move the furniture out of the spare room and get the nursery furniture. We had friends in town all weekend. DH went to the Bahamas for the day yesterday with the boys fishing and I stayed here and laid on the beach all day with the girls. It was a great weekend! Back to the real world and lesson plans then off to the fam's house for Easter!

Yay for nursery furniture!

2009-04-07T12:41:00.001-07:00

There it is! We decided to not go with white if Thursday's result is a girl. This picture does it no justice. DH and I got a wild hair up our butts and decided to drive 45 minutes from our house to go look at a set we LOVED online. Yeah we didn't love it once we got there but instead found this. We didn't end up getting home till 10pm! Its simple which is how we like it! The price wasn't bad for everything we got too (everything in pic). The shorter dresser has the changer attachment on the top and then we also bought a night stand that isn't in this picture. I am excited. We finally decided on something! lol

So now we get to look forward to Thursday's BIG u/s... and it seems to be taking forever! And then a NAME!

17w 5d Pic

2009-04-02T10:01:00.001-07:00

I can't really believe I am almost 18 weeks! I think I am feeling movement. I feel something and haven't felt it before. I usually chalk everything up to gas but this is different. Feels like waves of movement. Next Thursday is the BIG day! Can't wait. I'm keeping my fingers crossed baby is cooperative! :)