I think I might be ADHD. Does it make me a bad mom that I am not looking forward to a week on the couch again? Eating, peeing, pooping and sleeping. Love Lilly to pieces but I need her to start talking! lol Totally kidding!
In all honesty I need to make a point to get out this week and try to keep myself busy. Tomorrow my mom is coming over. I have a doctors appointment in the morning because I think I might have a UTI. I have this annoying pain around my pee area. Not sure whats going on. Then I am picking up my dad from the airport. As for the rest of the week... I dunno. But my butt hurts from sitting here. And I think I might go crazy if I keep sitting here on my arse! Ok done bitching and complaining!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
2 weeks old & PP hormones are a bitch!
Honestly this is the first picture of us since the hospital. I am always the one holding the camera!! Thanks to this picture I offically need new foundation!
We don't have bows but we have a fohawk! lol I pray everyday her hair doesn't fall out! She is doing amazingly great! She is sleeping at least 3-4 hours at a time at night. We're trying to keep her up after eating during the day but she has been surprising us and doing it on her own.
DH and I are going out to eat tonight while my sister stays here with Lilly. Thank God for family! Just to get out might make me feel a little better. Speaking of bitch ass hormones! Not that I've been feeling HORRIBLE just a little sad once in a while. Its hard to go from living one simple routine day in and day out to a whole totally different routine and schedule. I've been missing going to bed with DH and laying in bed watching T.V. (how stupid I know), missing just getting up and going, a full nights sleep (which i know i'll be waiting a while on). Nothing really important just things I was so use to doing. Having time for just us. It was always a fear of mine that once Lillian came that DH and I would forget about "us" since we have been so focused of providing the needs of our new little sweetie. He says it will soon get easier and we will be able to do all those stupid little things we use to do. He says he feels the same way but reassures me it will get easier with time. It makes me feel better to know that he too wants to not forget about "us". I know that what I am feeling is normal from talking to others. Thanks Bee for making me feel like I am not crazy and that it is normal and will get better!! I am so grateful for all you girls! :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
amazing
first off please excuse the one handed no caps typing! :)
i am amazed at a number of things...
#1- i never thought that having a child would make me fall in love all over again with my husband. but it definietly has! he has been so loving, understanding and supportive. i tear up everytime i think about it. words cant explain it at all.
#2- so much can change in a short few days. i feel like the first few days home all that was going on was us trying to figure out what lillian needed or wanted. but we are learning more and more each day about one another and its getting easier.
#3- i went into this thinking i would give breastfeeding a shot and if it went well then awesome if not i wasnt going to kill myself over it. well it went ok the first few days and then got worse and worse. being so engorged ruined it. i tried pumping every 2 hours... it was sooo draining. i felt like my body was going to shut down. so after crying it out for 2 days i decided that breastfeeding was taking a toll on me and i wasnt able to enjoy my new best friend here! so i am done. we mixed all the bm with formula the last few days. and honestly she's been an angel ever since.
#4- thank God for family. even though my sister probably wants to pull her hair out from all my phone calls!! they have been SOOOOOOO helpful. my mom stayed here the first 4 nights and i couldnt have done it without her. not only that but she would make my dad cook and bring it over. ribs & steak... she dosent mess around! MIL is also very helpful. she cooks great and plans on doing lots of babysitting in the future!
#5- lillian, last but not least. she is changing already and i am terrified of her getting big! lol she is such a snuggle bug and loves to be wrapped up like a burrito! mommys favorite food! it amazes me that we made her and she was kicking the crap out of my ribs just 10 days ago! its crazy! lol
life is great and i truely feel so blessed!
i am amazed at a number of things...
#1- i never thought that having a child would make me fall in love all over again with my husband. but it definietly has! he has been so loving, understanding and supportive. i tear up everytime i think about it. words cant explain it at all.
#2- so much can change in a short few days. i feel like the first few days home all that was going on was us trying to figure out what lillian needed or wanted. but we are learning more and more each day about one another and its getting easier.
#3- i went into this thinking i would give breastfeeding a shot and if it went well then awesome if not i wasnt going to kill myself over it. well it went ok the first few days and then got worse and worse. being so engorged ruined it. i tried pumping every 2 hours... it was sooo draining. i felt like my body was going to shut down. so after crying it out for 2 days i decided that breastfeeding was taking a toll on me and i wasnt able to enjoy my new best friend here! so i am done. we mixed all the bm with formula the last few days. and honestly she's been an angel ever since.
#4- thank God for family. even though my sister probably wants to pull her hair out from all my phone calls!! they have been SOOOOOOO helpful. my mom stayed here the first 4 nights and i couldnt have done it without her. not only that but she would make my dad cook and bring it over. ribs & steak... she dosent mess around! MIL is also very helpful. she cooks great and plans on doing lots of babysitting in the future!
#5- lillian, last but not least. she is changing already and i am terrified of her getting big! lol she is such a snuggle bug and loves to be wrapped up like a burrito! mommys favorite food! it amazes me that we made her and she was kicking the crap out of my ribs just 10 days ago! its crazy! lol
life is great and i truely feel so blessed!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Birth story
So I was bad and didn't take notes so the times may be off a little bit. I woke up bright and early at like 4:30am and took a shower. I started totally having contractions before we left the house and was just realizing what contractions felt like! lol. It was like I was having menstural cramps. So we got to the hospital at 6am. Thinking back now we walked in there like nothing... oh boy what we were in store for!
I got there the nurses told me to change and empty my bladder. Then they came in and asked a bunch of questions and took vitals. The nurse checked me and OMG I thought I was going to jump out of the bed. She was digging for gold! And it was just HER because the next nurse on shift and the doctor's internals were nothing like that! So she checked me and I was already progressing on my own and was 4-5 cm. So they started the potocin at 7am. The contractions picked up right away. But were tolerable. Not for long! By like 9:30 they were HORRIBLE! I mean I thought I was going to rip my hair out! I asked the nurse about the epi and she said it was up to me when I wanted it... and thank GOD I asked for it when I did. So by 10:30ish I was getting the epi and started feeling better. The epi was cake. It felt like a bee sting. So by now I was 7-8cm. I think they backed off on the pitocin since my progress was going so fast. After the epi and relaxing I seemed to have stalled at 8cm for a good while. It was at like 3:00 when I started feeling pressure. The nurse suggested flipping me to one side and back and forth. She said I could do that for a while to get her head down and push 3-4 times or don't and end up having to push for 3 hours. LISTEN to your nurse! Thats all I have to say! lol
So I flipped a few times and flipped. I started getting lots of pressure and the urge to push. This was at like 4:00ish. The nurse came in and we did a few practice pushes. And never really stopped! Oh boy I wish I would have just kept flipping. I ended up pushing till she came at 6:20. So it was like 2 hours or something. Looking back I was a mess! Everyone was saying how great I was doing and she was "right there" I remember at one point being like "OMG you've been saying that for an hour now!" lol The only thing I remember being painful was the burn towards the very end. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear. That never really bothered me... the hemi's on the other hand. UGH! I'll leave it at that!
She came flying out and thank goodness because I don't think I could have pushed anymore! It was a lot of work but so worth it. She came out really fast with a huge gush of water. They threw her on my chest and I remember saying "OMG you are so worth the burn!" everyone was laughing! It was an experience! lol DH was there for those that know he wasn't sure if he could do it. He stayed behind me and was great. SO glad he did!
He has been amazing and I love him so much more seeing what an amazing father he is! Makes me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place!!
Anyways, I am feeling great overall. Really tired. The first few days I couldn't sleep at all when I got home but last night was much better. Hormones can do some crazy crap! Lillian is doing great. She is eating much better now. She had slight jaundice and we have been putting her in the sun. I started breastfeeding and they became SO engorged that she won't latch on. SO I am pumping like crazy. Supply isn't an issue at this point. I've been getting 1-1.5oz from each side. So we are just seeing how it goes!
I got there the nurses told me to change and empty my bladder. Then they came in and asked a bunch of questions and took vitals. The nurse checked me and OMG I thought I was going to jump out of the bed. She was digging for gold! And it was just HER because the next nurse on shift and the doctor's internals were nothing like that! So she checked me and I was already progressing on my own and was 4-5 cm. So they started the potocin at 7am. The contractions picked up right away. But were tolerable. Not for long! By like 9:30 they were HORRIBLE! I mean I thought I was going to rip my hair out! I asked the nurse about the epi and she said it was up to me when I wanted it... and thank GOD I asked for it when I did. So by 10:30ish I was getting the epi and started feeling better. The epi was cake. It felt like a bee sting. So by now I was 7-8cm. I think they backed off on the pitocin since my progress was going so fast. After the epi and relaxing I seemed to have stalled at 8cm for a good while. It was at like 3:00 when I started feeling pressure. The nurse suggested flipping me to one side and back and forth. She said I could do that for a while to get her head down and push 3-4 times or don't and end up having to push for 3 hours. LISTEN to your nurse! Thats all I have to say! lol
So I flipped a few times and flipped. I started getting lots of pressure and the urge to push. This was at like 4:00ish. The nurse came in and we did a few practice pushes. And never really stopped! Oh boy I wish I would have just kept flipping. I ended up pushing till she came at 6:20. So it was like 2 hours or something. Looking back I was a mess! Everyone was saying how great I was doing and she was "right there" I remember at one point being like "OMG you've been saying that for an hour now!" lol The only thing I remember being painful was the burn towards the very end. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear. That never really bothered me... the hemi's on the other hand. UGH! I'll leave it at that!
She came flying out and thank goodness because I don't think I could have pushed anymore! It was a lot of work but so worth it. She came out really fast with a huge gush of water. They threw her on my chest and I remember saying "OMG you are so worth the burn!" everyone was laughing! It was an experience! lol DH was there for those that know he wasn't sure if he could do it. He stayed behind me and was great. SO glad he did!
He has been amazing and I love him so much more seeing what an amazing father he is! Makes me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place!!
Anyways, I am feeling great overall. Really tired. The first few days I couldn't sleep at all when I got home but last night was much better. Hormones can do some crazy crap! Lillian is doing great. She is eating much better now. She had slight jaundice and we have been putting her in the sun. I started breastfeeding and they became SO engorged that she won't latch on. SO I am pumping like crazy. Supply isn't an issue at this point. I've been getting 1-1.5oz from each side. So we are just seeing how it goes!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Lillian is here!
Lillian Paige born August 28, 2009 at 6:20pm. She weighed 7lbs 13oz, 20inches long. Things are coming together! No time for a birth story yet but enjoy the pictures!
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