One Month Old & Dear IL's

Where does time go?!! I can't believe its been a month since she was born!! She is still doing really well. I love how she is starting to focus on faces and sometimes smiles when people talk to her. Specifically my mom who we call RaRa. The first grandchild couldn't say grandma and instead started RaRa and it stuck! RaRa always gets smiles out of Lilly!
My dear IL's! Oh I really honestly do love them to death. They are the sweetest most giving people in the world. But I will be honest. I am kinda anal when it comes to Lillian. Like for example... when I let MIL give her a bath. I think I'll go walk the dogs and not hoover over her while she is doing it. I don't want to come off as the crazy DIL. But WHY does she feel the need to change things up? Change things like combing over her hair over to the side??!! I've NEVER combed her hair like that. So why oh why take it upon yourself and start doing that?! For all I know she probably asked DH if she could and he said sure. But heaven forbid I speak about it with him. He might get his undies in a bunch!!
And then, ok its bedtime... can we please not speak in a high pitched voice? Does the lights dimmed low and TV turned practically all the way down not give you some kinda hint at what we are aiming for? Ok I need to stop writing as if I am talking to her. In fact I need to get over it all. Next time I'll make sure I don't leave her side while she is doing anything with Lillian. Its killing me to not ask DH if she asked him if it was okay... but I am letting it go! AHHHHHH :/ LMAO!!
Oh and Kevin... if you happen to be stalking my blog. Please don't let your mom do shit that we don't normally do. You know I love her but come on!!

What a difference a day makes!

So yesterday was so different then the previous days. I feel like Lillian is starting on a routine all on her own. She often times wakes up between 8-9am where I feed her and then let her chill out on top of her changing table while I run around brushing my teeth, putting my eyes in (contacts) and getting dressed. I know I won't be doing this for long since I am terrified she'll roll off. I might have to just move her to the floor now. After a while she starts to fuss which usually means two things. Either she has a dirty diaper or she is getting tired. I try to get her to nap in her swing or bouncy seat but she isn't a big fan of them. So 99% of the time she'll fall asleep on me and then I **try** to move her to the bouncy seat. Which 99% of the time results in her waking up and me picking her up to soothe her. We have thrown in the pacifier towel and use it when needed. Sometimes if she isn't really really sleepy she freaks out when it falls out. But if she is super tired she could careless. So both yesterday and today she has taken a pretty long afternoon nap. Yesterday it was 1:15ish till about 4:15 where I kinda woke her up because I had to leave my parents house where we were. Today she napped from 1:00ish to about 4:00ish. So I found it funny that she napped around the same time both days. Last night she was fussy going down for the first time. We tried putting her down at 10:30 but she didn't fall asleep till about midnight. BUT she slept till 4:45 which was a pretty long stretch in between feedings. She ate at 10:00. So.... I am super curious how tonight will go. We gave her a bath and DH is finishing up feeding/burping her right now. Its 9:30. So we will see! I know its not good to do bath time every night due to the fact it could dry out their skin, but she sleeps really well the nights we do it. So I might just start doing it with out the soap nightly. And do soap every other or 3rd night.
So her yeast seemed to clear up a bit today... but we went ahead and bought the $100 Rx that the pedi called in for us. I hope that really knocks it out! Its worth the $$ if it helps her.
My sister is 34 weeks PG and we are throwing a shower for her this weekend. This is baby number two for her so its a tiny shower with just close friends and family. It'll be nice to be around other adults for a few hours!

yuck.work.yuck

This is where Lillian fell asleep today while i was wrapping her up... and since she was so content i left her there!! She has been a sleep fighter the last few days. And seems very hard to please. Well of course unless she is in my arms. But i can't go pee or wash bottles while holding her!
Last night was a nightmare! She hardly napped at all yesterday and it made for one over tired lady = screaming for no reason other then being tired. Nothing seemed to comfort her. We tried it all and even broke down and gave her a pacifier... yeah she spit it right out. So she cried. It sucked so bad. She eventually passed out. Hoping we don't have that again tonight.

On another note...I go back to work on October 21st. YUCK! So not looking forward to it at all. I hear from everyone at work is how horrible things are there. We have a new Chief Academic Advisor in our district who is trying to change all sorts of things. They are doing walk throughs in our rooms to make sure those things are being done. The first one for our school just happens to be October 22nd... lucky ME! I'm going to ask my principal if they can skip my room. So not fair if they come in and expect to see certain things.

3 weeks old today

Can't really believe its been 3 weeks already! Time is really flying. I am starting to get anxious about going back to work. NOT looking forward to it at all. I only get 5-6 weeks of short term disability which I think is up the middle of October and then I have like 8 or 9 sick days I can use. So it looks like the end of October I'll be going back. It makes it easier to know my mom is taking care of her. She watched her today for me while I came home and cleaned the house. OMG... I had a puppy living behind my couch. SO much effing dog hair since it hasn't been done really well in about a month! So that was nice. Lillian does great at my parents house. I sware the child likes her swing and bouncy seat (hand me downs) more then the ones we have here at home. My mom says Lillian just likes her house better!! lol Anyways back to the work subject. I think the hardest part is going to be juggling it all. Lesson plans, Lillian, cleaning, its all going to be A LOT! But I guess it'll just take time to get use to like everything else.
SLEEP or lack there of is going to be tough too. Lillian is doing great still. Last night we put her down at like 9:30ish. She was up at 1 and then again at 5. She had a poopy diaper that woke her up at 8 after that. But often times she sleeps in longer. The hardest time is getting her down for the first time. She's fussy a bunch and kicks her legs. We swaddle her in the miracle blanket but it doesn't hold her legs in tight enough. She has no problem falling asleep in my arms. I put her down and she's fine for about 15minutes. But then soon after the legs start going, she starts fussing and before we know it she's full force screaming. Like right now. DH just went up to rock her a bit. I think she is fighting going to sleep. Op now he is done and she is out.... for now! lol
This rash/yeast whatever it is seems to have not gone away yet. I was bad and still used the Pamper diapers. But we're going to stop and use huggies to see if that really is making her flare up.
DH and I have date night tomorrow night. We're going to see Jim Brewer at the Comedy Corner. MIL is watching Lillian. LOVE MIL to death but I am very anal about how she is taken care of... but I'll save that for another post! haha!

Falling into our new life together!

Things are finally starting to fall into place. By no means is it a piece of cake. I am not sure if its getting easier or if I am just getting use to it all. Lillian is doing great. She eats every 3 hours during the day and then has gone 4 hours at night. I bought that book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and have been trying the EASY method. E-eat, A-activity, S-sleep, Y- you time. I really like it. She has a hard time with the Activity part and gets tired quickly during certain parts of the day. So I usually don't mess with her and let her sleep. Like right now she has been sleeping for over an hour and is due to eat in about 30 minutes. We broke down and borrowed my sisters sound machine. Which she LOVES. The noise and her being swaddled = one happy little lady! DH was SO against the sound machine. He thought my nephew couldn't sleep with out it. But we have had it for 3 nights now so apparently he can. We ordered one and it should hopefully be here by Friday! At this point DH thinks whatever it takes for her to sleep. He does not care! lol

Houston we have NIPPLES! We found the nipples she loves online. DH ordered 7 of them. They arrived today. Thank goodness! They are still the slow flow kind. Should I be worried she is still needing slow flow? We tried the next one up and she was gagging and spitting it all over the place. Now we need a few more Medela bottles and we will be good to go!

She still has a tiny rash. I called the doctor and explained it to them. My sister with the 4 kids said it might be yeast. The nurse at the pedi office agreed and gave us a script. I bought huggies and also bought the Lansinoh wipes. The brand that makes the cream we used on our boobs for BF. The wipes are very soothing my sister said. They must be popular b/c there was only one pack left at Target. So if you are having issues with you LO and wipes try those. Kinda pricey but whatever it takes for her to be okay!
She is changing so much. Its freaking me out! :) Ohhh I am so excited. I can wear my wedding rings again! Not sure why but I hated not having them on! Yay!

Possibly ADHD

I think I might be ADHD. Does it make me a bad mom that I am not looking forward to a week on the couch again? Eating, peeing, pooping and sleeping. Love Lilly to pieces but I need her to start talking! lol Totally kidding!
In all honesty I need to make a point to get out this week and try to keep myself busy. Tomorrow my mom is coming over. I have a doctors appointment in the morning because I think I might have a UTI. I have this annoying pain around my pee area. Not sure whats going on. Then I am picking up my dad from the airport. As for the rest of the week... I dunno. But my butt hurts from sitting here. And I think I might go crazy if I keep sitting here on my arse! Ok done bitching and complaining!

2 weeks old & PP hormones are a bitch!

Honestly this is the first picture of us since the hospital. I am always the one holding the camera!! Thanks to this picture I offically need new foundation!

We don't have bows but we have a fohawk! lol I pray everyday her hair doesn't fall out!

She is doing amazingly great! She is sleeping at least 3-4 hours at a time at night. We're trying to keep her up after eating during the day but she has been surprising us and doing it on her own.

DH and I are going out to eat tonight while my sister stays here with Lilly. Thank God for family! Just to get out might make me feel a little better. Speaking of bitch ass hormones! Not that I've been feeling HORRIBLE just a little sad once in a while. Its hard to go from living one simple routine day in and day out to a whole totally different routine and schedule. I've been missing going to bed with DH and laying in bed watching T.V. (how stupid I know), missing just getting up and going, a full nights sleep (which i know i'll be waiting a while on). Nothing really important just things I was so use to doing. Having time for just us. It was always a fear of mine that once Lillian came that DH and I would forget about "us" since we have been so focused of providing the needs of our new little sweetie. He says it will soon get easier and we will be able to do all those stupid little things we use to do. He says he feels the same way but reassures me it will get easier with time. It makes me feel better to know that he too wants to not forget about "us". I know that what I am feeling is normal from talking to others. Thanks Bee for making me feel like I am not crazy and that it is normal and will get better!! I am so grateful for all you girls! :)

Went to the doctor today. Lillian has gained 1lb since the last visit. So she is at 8lbs 3oz. Doing great! Just some pictures!!

amazing

first off please excuse the one handed no caps typing! :)
i am amazed at a number of things...
#1- i never thought that having a child would make me fall in love all over again with my husband. but it definietly has! he has been so loving, understanding and supportive. i tear up everytime i think about it. words cant explain it at all.
#2- so much can change in a short few days. i feel like the first few days home all that was going on was us trying to figure out what lillian needed or wanted. but we are learning more and more each day about one another and its getting easier.
#3- i went into this thinking i would give breastfeeding a shot and if it went well then awesome if not i wasnt going to kill myself over it. well it went ok the first few days and then got worse and worse. being so engorged ruined it. i tried pumping every 2 hours... it was sooo draining. i felt like my body was going to shut down. so after crying it out for 2 days i decided that breastfeeding was taking a toll on me and i wasnt able to enjoy my new best friend here! so i am done. we mixed all the bm with formula the last few days. and honestly she's been an angel ever since.
#4- thank God for family. even though my sister probably wants to pull her hair out from all my phone calls!! they have been SOOOOOOO helpful. my mom stayed here the first 4 nights and i couldnt have done it without her. not only that but she would make my dad cook and bring it over. ribs & steak... she dosent mess around! MIL is also very helpful. she cooks great and plans on doing lots of babysitting in the future!
#5- lillian, last but not least. she is changing already and i am terrified of her getting big! lol she is such a snuggle bug and loves to be wrapped up like a burrito! mommys favorite food! it amazes me that we made her and she was kicking the crap out of my ribs just 10 days ago! its crazy! lol
life is great and i truely feel so blessed!

1 Week old and PP belly pic

Birth story

So I was bad and didn't take notes so the times may be off a little bit. I woke up bright and early at like 4:30am and took a shower. I started totally having contractions before we left the house and was just realizing what contractions felt like! lol. It was like I was having menstural cramps. So we got to the hospital at 6am. Thinking back now we walked in there like nothing... oh boy what we were in store for!
I got there the nurses told me to change and empty my bladder. Then they came in and asked a bunch of questions and took vitals. The nurse checked me and OMG I thought I was going to jump out of the bed. She was digging for gold! And it was just HER because the next nurse on shift and the doctor's internals were nothing like that! So she checked me and I was already progressing on my own and was 4-5 cm. So they started the potocin at 7am. The contractions picked up right away. But were tolerable. Not for long! By like 9:30 they were HORRIBLE! I mean I thought I was going to rip my hair out! I asked the nurse about the epi and she said it was up to me when I wanted it... and thank GOD I asked for it when I did. So by 10:30ish I was getting the epi and started feeling better. The epi was cake. It felt like a bee sting. So by now I was 7-8cm. I think they backed off on the pitocin since my progress was going so fast. After the epi and relaxing I seemed to have stalled at 8cm for a good while. It was at like 3:00 when I started feeling pressure. The nurse suggested flipping me to one side and back and forth. She said I could do that for a while to get her head down and push 3-4 times or don't and end up having to push for 3 hours. LISTEN to your nurse! Thats all I have to say! lol
So I flipped a few times and flipped. I started getting lots of pressure and the urge to push. This was at like 4:00ish. The nurse came in and we did a few practice pushes. And never really stopped! Oh boy I wish I would have just kept flipping. I ended up pushing till she came at 6:20. So it was like 2 hours or something. Looking back I was a mess! Everyone was saying how great I was doing and she was "right there" I remember at one point being like "OMG you've been saying that for an hour now!" lol The only thing I remember being painful was the burn towards the very end. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear. That never really bothered me... the hemi's on the other hand. UGH! I'll leave it at that!
She came flying out and thank goodness because I don't think I could have pushed anymore! It was a lot of work but so worth it. She came out really fast with a huge gush of water. They threw her on my chest and I remember saying "OMG you are so worth the burn!" everyone was laughing! It was an experience! lol DH was there for those that know he wasn't sure if he could do it. He stayed behind me and was great. SO glad he did!
He has been amazing and I love him so much more seeing what an amazing father he is! Makes me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place!!
Anyways, I am feeling great overall. Really tired. The first few days I couldn't sleep at all when I got home but last night was much better. Hormones can do some crazy crap! Lillian is doing great. She is eating much better now. She had slight jaundice and we have been putting her in the sun. I started breastfeeding and they became SO engorged that she won't latch on. SO I am pumping like crazy. Supply isn't an issue at this point. I've been getting 1-1.5oz from each side. So we are just seeing how it goes!

Lillian is here!

Lillian Paige born August 28, 2009 at 6:20pm. She weighed 7lbs 13oz, 20inches long. Things are coming together! No time for a birth story yet but enjoy the pictures!