BaahumBUG!

Someone was pooped out while at the mall to see Santa. She did great but I think she is still too tiny to realize what's going on. Below is a picture I took with my camera while she was with Santa.

I am having a terrible time getting into the Christmas spirit. Maybe it's the missing tree in our house. We live in a town house which isn't super small but with all the added baby stuff there isn't any room for a tree.

It could also be that DH's job is still on the rocks. Looking worse then ever. My BIL that also works at the same company was laid off. He worked in the field though doing the actual labor. DH works in the office end of the company. He is so stressed and uneasy. He knows any day he could be let go. We aren't buying presents for hardly anyone since we want to save $. We've made deals with family members (our sisters) to not buy for the little ones who are too young to realize. I'm sending $ to my nieces and nephews up north and bought a few toys for my nephew who lives by us. The part I am happy about is that everyone is healthy and we can all be together! Which is what means most at this time of year!

On a brighter note! Lillian is growing like a weed! She is rolling over like crazy. She has been sleeping on her belly which I was so scared of the first few nights. But now I am ok! We still have the paci problem. I've been getting up 6+ times a night to put the damn thing back in her mouth. I honestly don't know what to do other then let her cry it out. I'm going to try to let her fuss/cry a little longer the next few nights and see how that works.

I am a little annoyed with the doctors at the office I go to. I just wish they were all on the same page. I took her in on Monday because she was stuffed up (I was sick all weekend) and I told him how last time I was there another doctor told me to add rice cereal to her bottles for her poopy. He said he'd rather me give it to her on a spoon. We tried it out yesterday. She did alright. Had a few spoon fulls. And then started to cry cause she was hungry and it wasn't getting her full. She pounds 6 oz right now like its going out of style. She goes 4 sometimes 3 hours in between bottles. At night she goes from 6pm till 7am with out eating so thats a plus! She only wakes for the paci like I said before. She is a chunky monkey.... 14lbs 6oz! Love it! She will be 4 months on the 28th. Time is flying!!

Being a sick mommy sucks!

I feel like crap. I felt it coming on yesterday. Itchy throat, runny nose. UGH. F.M.L right now. Poor DH has been on over time. He took care of Lillian all night so I could get a full nights sleep. I hate not being able to hold her. I really don't want her to catch it.

Speaking of my little princess. She has been a total PITA the last 3-4 days. Fussy as hell. Not sleeping well at night at all. I think she is teething. The amount of drool coming from her tiny mouth is crazy. She shoves her tiny little hands in her mouth any chance she gets. She is trying to flip over to her belly so hard but he shoulder always gets in the way!

Besides that life is good. I gotta run... I'll add some pictures later.

I just googled POOP!

No you didn't read that wrong. I just looked up on google baby poop pictures. I don't know if Lillian looks like it should. It's green and very very soft. We have been adding the rice cereal. It has helped. It went from watery to soft.
Is soft normal? I guess I should have paid more attention when changing all those diapers with my nieces and nephews!
So my dilemma is.... we are considering changing her formula because of it all. That and I feel like the Gentlease goes right through her. I am so effing SCARED to change formula. It's like playing with fire. I really hope she takes it well and isn't a fussy mess. We have some regular Enfamil so keep your fingers crossed. I figure if she hates it we'll know soon enough and just keep her with what she's on now. AHhhhh!
The sttn was short lived. Although I shouldn't complain. She gets up once a night now instead of 2. She's getting there!
Oh just an update on sister issue. We ended up not talking all weekend. Ended up at my parents house Sunday night and hashed it out on the back porch. She said I told her "You should take care of it." Insinuating abortion. I went off on her because I never even said that. I told her she should have been a little bit more responsible knowing what they had in front of them already. That doesn't mean abortion. I don't feel bad. The whole family was like OMG when she found out she was PG. She wasn't able to afford what she had, to me that isn't fair to the new baby. Whatever. It is what it is. I guess they are going to more counseling. Hopefully for her/kids sake it helps!

Drama, drama and more drama

Drama aka family!
So my sister just had her little girl. She is something like 2 months apart from Lillian. My sister doesn't make the best choices in life. She is married, to a uh... (trying to be nice here) guy who is not so nice. He is very negative, never lifts a finger to help out much. Anyways, long story short (ended up long haha) they have a 2 year old son and the new baby girl. They are having a hard time with money and their marriage. When their son was born my mom stopped working to take care of him. My mom always said when I had a baby she would do the same for us as she has done for them (as far as taking care of the baby). Well their 2 year old son was ready for preschool. He needs interaction with other children. And I just so happen to get pregnant. So it was going to be great. Mom could now do for us what she's been doing for them. That was this time last year when we found out I was pregnant.

STOP! Then we find out a few months later that now my sister is pregnant again. The whole family was like holy shit what is she going to do. They can't afford another child, their marriage is on the rocks. What was she thinking?! I said a few times man you should have been a little bit more responsible knowing whats going on in your life. Like wear a condom or use BC. Just because I was scared for her and what she was going to go through. She told me she'd be fine. Mom swore up and down that she was going to have to find child care for the new baby. Fast forward to last week. Sister says to me that mom offered to watch her little one too. REALLY cause mom has yet to give me the respect to say anything to me. My feelings were hurt. I pay my mom a small amount each week to watch Lillian. I KNOW my sister can't afford to pay her. So I'm pissed.

So last night my dad questions me about when I am going on spring break so him and mom can go out of town. Sister hears this and is like oh shit what am I going to do with my LO when that happens. So she starts questioning me about watching her LO on my spring break. I tell her I don't want to commit to anything. And I said something about how I was upset mom told her she'd watch her LO without letting me know first. She did NOT like that boy. Said she was going to shove my teeth down my throat (ok we're 27 and 30 years (shes older then me) old here, grow up). ANd then. then. I couldn't believe it says "Whatever, you wanted me to have an effing abortion anyways!" I was livid. NEVER ever ever would I say that to her or anyone. That is such a personal choice or decision. Why would I say that. I was effing pregnant at the time. Its just sick.

So she ended up storming out of the house and now won't talk to me. My other sister is in town for the weekend and this sister is saying she won't be in the same room as me. She is making up all kinds of shit trying to make me look like this mean bitch. I don't get it.

She is miserable with her marriage, has no $ and I think I am getting the brunt of it. Its just a mess. I am livid with the whole abortion comments and her telling my mom and other sisters that I said that. Never. I'm not being a softy on this one. I always usually call to make things better. No way!

On another note, if my husband tells me to eat less, move more he might get throat punched! Trying dang it. I walked 3 times this week. Alright this post is entirely tooo long! Good night!

Gross

That's how I feel about myself right now. Eww.Yuck.Disgusting.
I have to be more determined. I really really don't want to cough up the $ for Weight Watchers but I think its come down to that. I am one of those people who have to go stand on the scale once a week. Online is too easy to cheat!

I lost all the baby weight plus some right after delivery. But the eating like shit and not exercising has caught up to me. And I feel it BIG time. I never got stretch marks during pregnancy. Yeah, I was blessed with them afterwards on my inner thighs. Only a few but still, WTF?

I fit into like 3 pairs of pants, and the back fat. Oh the back fat kills me! I can't wear hardly any of the shirts I own because of it. Its like a hotdog bun tucked under my shirt right below my bra line. CUTE I tell ya! I feel sick just writing this!

Alright I am going to cry in a corner now!